I CAN’T BREATHE. MY SKIN breaks out in a cold sweat as my fingers go numb.
“Oh, shit!” he says, and this is the last thing I hear before I pass out.
I open my eyes and I can hardly see anything through the darkness, but I can feel the scratchy fabric of Cora’s sofa under my cheek. I blink a few times and her living room slowly comes into focus.
“How are you feeling?”
His voice is both startling and comforting. I turn my head toward the sound and he’s kneeling on the carpet not far from my feet. I’m torn between throwing my arms around his neck and kicking him for breaking my heart.
Cora clears her throat and I turn my head in the other direction. “You almost took a nasty spill there, honey. Good thing Adam was here to catch you.”
I sit up slowly and he shifts a little so I don’t hit him with my legs. Just that small movement and I can smell him. He took a shower recently. I recognize the scent of his shampoo and it actually makes me want to cry. I want to pull my knees up to my face again, but I’m wearing a dress and Adam is kneeling almost directly in front of me. I stand quickly and he stands up right after me.
“Claire, we need to talk.”
“Did you trick me into coming here?”
His skin is more tanned than when he left and I’m suddenly angry as I picture him surfing and frolicking on the beach while I suffered through four weeks of self-doubt.
“I just want to talk to you.” He takes a step toward me and I take a step back, almost falling back onto the sofa, but I manage to regain my balance. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine.” I turn to Cora, who’s sitting in her recliner with Bigfoot in her lap as usual. “I came here for you, Cora.”
I stride toward her and give her a big hug. She pats my arm weakly and I try not to cry as I look into her eyes and see the fatigue.
“Senia wanted me to give you a big hug from her,” I say as I kneel next to the recliner and scratch Bigfoot’s head. He purrs softly and this makes Cora smile.
“You tell Senia I saw a beautiful dress that would look perfect on her. This girl looked just like Senia and she wore the most beautiful dress to her wedding. Of course, they ended up throwing her in a koi pond at the reception and ruining it, but it was so perfect for her.”
Cora’s more than a little obsessed with the TV show Bridezillas. She thinks it’s the most hilarious thing, women having nervous breakdowns over the color of a dress or the flavor of a cake. She loves to tell the story of how she and her husband, Frank, got married more than sixty years ago in a tiny chapel in Minnesota. She wore a dress that she made herself and he wore the suit his father got married in almost thirty years earlier.
“We had holes in our clothes and our shoes, but our hearts were finally whole,” Cora likes to say whenever she tells the story.
I glance at Adam for just a second and his eyes are locked on mine. My brain knows that he did what he thought I needed, but my heart feels utterly betrayed by him.
I continue stroking Bigfoot’s head as I avoid looking in Adam’s direction. “Well, I’m here now, so you can go.”
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”
“Adam, that’s no way to speak to a lady,” Cora chides him.
“I’m sorry. You’re right, Cora.” He looks me in the eye again, but his expression softens. “Please come upstairs so we can talk.”
“That’s much better,” Cora says with a smile. “You two go on ahead. My show’s coming on soon.”
My hand shakes as I grab the remote off of Cora’s wooden TV tray table and point it at the television to make sure it’s on the right channel. I set the remote down and I can’t believe how anxious I feel. This is Adam. This is the guy who picked me up off the floor when I was broken and carried me until I was ready to walk again.
I make my way to the door and Adam kisses the top of Cora’s head before he follows me.
“Goodnight, Cora. I’ll be by in the morning. Make sure you have my steak and eggs ready.”
“Don’t you worry. Bigfoot knows just how you like your steak. Goodnight, sonny.”
I can’t help but smile before the sadness of how much I’ve missed Cora and Adam comes rushing back to me. I wait near the front door to my old apartment as he locks Cora’s door. He turns around and my heart pounds at the sight of his beauty. The sun is almost down, but the faint warm glow of the sunset makes his golden skin glow.
He gives me a soft smile and I close my eyes so I can’t see his face while I think of how he broke my heart and how it would destroy him to know what I did with Chris five days ago.