I open the heart-shaped locket and find a picture of me on the left. The right side is empty.
“I left it empty so you could put a picture of her in there.”
I close my fist tightly around the locket and wrap my arms around Adam’s neck. “Thank you.” I clench my teeth together to hold back the tears. “Thank you so much. I love it.”
He pulls me closer and I tighten my grip on him as I press the side of my face into his solid shoulder.
“Are you okay?” he asks, but I don’t respond.
I can’t tell him that I’ve been trying to avoid looking at Abigail’s picture ever since her parents backed out of our meeting. He knows how upset I was when it happened on Tuesday, but he doesn’t know how horribly I’m coping with it. I stuffed all my pictures of her into the manila envelope Chris gave me four weeks ago, then I asked Senia to hide the envelope.
The pain starts at the base of my ribs and spreads like fire into my chest and throat until I have no hope of answering his question.
“Claire? What’s wrong?” He tries to pull away so he can look at my face, but I hold tightly, too afraid that I’m going to ruin this moment.
He brought me a beautiful gift and I can’t even accept it without becoming a wreck.
“I’m sorry. It’s beautiful. I swear I love it,” I whisper as I clutch my fist so tightly the clasp on the necklace digs into my palm. “But I can’t wear it. I’m sorry. I put all her pictures away.”
His shoulders slump and I finally let go of him so I can look at his face. “Why didn’t you tell me? Man, I feel like such a dick now.”
“No, don’t feel bad. This is beautiful and I do hope to wear it someday. It’s just too much right now… not knowing if I’m ever going to see her.”
He pulls my arms off his shoulders and opens my fist. “I’ll hold onto it if it’s too painful for you.”
“No!” I cry as I clench my fingers around the locket. “No, I want to hold onto it. I really do love it; I just want to put it away for a little while. Is that okay?”
“Baby, you could throw it in the fire and that would be okay. Whatever makes you feel better.”
I heave a deep sigh of relief and kiss his cheek. “I love you.”
He chuckles as my lips skim his jaw and land on his neck. “I’m so happy to be here with you.”
I lick his neck and he moans softly. His hands slide under my shirt as I press my lips to the sensitive area behind his ear. I drop the locket onto the desk and grab fistfuls of his hair as I pull his mouth to mine. His lips are so soft and warm.
“I’ve been dreaming about this all week,” I murmur into his mouth.
His hand slides under my knees and he scoops me up in his arms. My stomach flips as he stands from the chair and carries me to my bed. He sets me down gently, our lips never losing contact as I reach for the waistband of his jeans and pull him down on top of me. Just feeling the weight of him on top of me sends me over the edge and my body trembles with my need for him.
“Are you okay?” he whispers as he kisses my neck and I nod hastily. “Good ‘cause I’m about to wreck you.”
I giggle nervously as he spreads my legs open. “Go easy on me. It’s been two weeks.”
He groans and I lift my hips as he grinds into me.
“Please take this off,” I beg as I yank his shirt up.
He chuckles as he pulls his shirt over his head and gazes down at me with that sexy smile that I’ve missed so much. His body is so perfectly smooth and sculpted from all the training. I reach up and lightly trace my finger over the tattoo on his chest, the compass filled with waves, and he grabs my hand. He kisses the inside of my wrist then lays my hand down at my side. His hand slides sideways over my belly then under my lower back. He lifts me up so my back is arched and plants a soft kiss just above my belly button. The smile in his eyes as he looks up at me makes my chest heave with anticipation.
His fingers whisper over my skin and I sigh as they land on the button of my jeans. He takes his time undoing the button and I feel my body growing hungrier and more impatient by the second.
“What do you want me to do to you?” he asks as he drags the zipper down and lays a soft kiss on my abdomen.
I hate when he asks me this. I get so flustered when I talk about this stuff.
I reach down and run my fingers through his hair as I look him in the eye. “I want you to make me… scream your name.”
I whisper the last three words and he laughs softly. “You’re so fucking adorable. Do you need a joke to relax?”
He grabs the waistband of my jeans and I lift my hips so he can slide them down, taking my panties with them. “Yes, please.”