Pieces of Summer(35)

I wish I was better.

“You’re better but not one-hundred percent, Mika. Big difference. You’re at fifty percent at most. Could always be there. Sue me for worrying about you. Please tell me you’re eating more than just pizza.”

“Ice cream too.”

He snorts, and I grin while moving away from the door and heading upstairs.

“Found any melted cartons in the cupboards?” he muses.

Not sure why he finds that so funny. It always pisses me off when I do that. At least it doesn’t trigger a meltdown reaction.

“Not this week,” I grumble, eliciting a snicker from him.

He sounds… happy. That’s so good to hear. It’s been getting easier for him to laugh since he’s gotten to spend less and less time worrying about me. I even managed to release my live-in nurse three years ago.

It wasn’t an easy transition to let her go, but I managed not to hurt myself. After all, I never liked her. She was so cold and formal, which made the detachment of the habit easier.

And I killed her in one of my books. That also helped. Death is a finality that my brain comprehends and doesn’t allow triggers to emerge when a fixed figure in my life is removed. It’s a useful tool.

Aidan has been by my side since I got out of the hospital, but sometimes I wonder if it’s because of his worry for me, or because he and I have gotten so close and he doesn’t want to live alone.

“I’ll be back soon,” he says vaguely, staying within the safe confines of my triggers, and I grimace.

“No need to rush. Take some time to love the city. I know you miss it.”

“You can’t stay by yourself for too long at a time, Mika. You have to have someone there on occasion.”

“No, I don’t. Don’t come back just for that.” He knows that isn’t cool. I don’t want him here just to look after me.

He blows out a harsh breath and groans for a second. “Yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean it that way. So, anyway, tell me about the bowling alley. How’s it doing?”

I smile while walking into my murder room/office.

“It’s going good.”

“Still feel unfinished?”

My smile falls. “Yeah. I don’t know why though.”

Again, another harsh breath leaves his lips. “Dr. Stein said you haven’t been calling her like you’re supposed to.”

I tense, wondering why she’s telling him anything at all. I know he’s allowed to be updated on progress. I also know Dr. Stein’s secretary said he couldn’t be reached.

“You went to see her or she called you?” I ask him.

“Both. I was missing my sessions with her. Anyway, give her a call. You can’t get better without her.”

I nod like he can see me, and I glance out the door, looking for Chase and worrying he might overhear, even though he’s downstairs and outside.

“I will,” I finally say.

“I’m meeting some friends for a drink, so I’ll let you go for now.”

“Have fun, Aidan. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

I start to wonder if he hung up already when he doesn’t respond for a few seconds. He knows that will have me calling him right back. I can’t stand to be hung up on, because the call feels too unfinished. But finally he speaks again.

“Love you, sis. I’ll see you soon. Bye.”

“Love you. Be safe. Bye,” I tell him, wondering how in the hell I’m going to explain Chase to him when he gets back.

It’s not going to be fun. He’s going to explode.





Chapter 36



CHASE



I thought I had moved on and learned to live a life without Mika in it. Turns out I was pretty fucking wrong. It’s like my life was running on standby mode, and nothing really fully resumed until she came back.

She reminds me what it’s like to have someone truly care. I’ve dated nice girls. I’ve dated thoughtful girls. But Mika is the only person who ever truly got to know the real me, and she’s the only person who makes it easy to breathe.

Cheesy as fuck, I know. But it’s the honest truth.

During all this time I’ve been with her, this is the first time she’s slept in my bed in my house.

It’s a fraction of the size of her lake home, but it’s bigger and better than anything I grew up in as a kid. Mika is curled around me, always touching me, and giggling as she reads me a part in one of her books where she killed me with a nail gun.

Yeah, we’re weird. But I like knowing she thought about me so much over the years that she managed to kill me in some rather imaginative ways as a means of moving on. She didn’t move on either.

“What about that one?” I ask her, pointing to the one beside me that she brought over. It’s just a plain cover that states it’s not for publishing.

“It’s a new one they’re about to put out some time soon,” she says with a shrug, moving her eyes back to the book at hand. “I turned it in a while back, even though the ending was never quite right.”

Before she can explain the gory way the nails have broken into my skull, I pick up the new book and open it.

“No!” she says around a laugh, tugging it out of my hands like it’s her diary instead of a book.

“There must be something terrible in there if you’re hiding it from me after all the other things you’ve read to me or let me read.”

I shudder dramatically to make her grin, but her cheeks turn pink instead, and I cock an eyebrow. She looks away like she’s shy all of the sudden, and that makes me all the more curious.

I reach over and jerk the book away, then hold her back with my free hand when she struggles to recapture it from me.

“Stop! Please don’t read that one,” she groans. “I didn’t know it was in that pile.”

I flip the pages open with one hand, ignoring her. My eyes land on page one where there is indeed a Thomas. And he’s the husband of the main character who happens to be named Kayla—like Mikayla.

When I look over my shoulder at her, she narrows her eyes at me.

“You die in it too, so stop looking at me like that.”

My lips twitch as the blush on her cheeks darkens, and she finally tugs the book away from me.

“Sorry,” I lie, grinning like a cheeky asshole as I slide my body over hers.

“No you’re not. You’re enjoying my embarrassment,” she grumbles, only causing me to laugh a little.

“So you married me and killed me?”

She cuts her eyes toward me, and I fight really damn hard not to laugh again.

“So what if I did,” she mumbles. “We all have our coping mechanisms. Besides, they picked an ending. I’ve written several. It’s still not finished in my head, but they feel it is. Doesn’t matter as long as I get to finish it for me.”

I grin at her before kissing my way down her neck, but I’m cursing when my alarm starts going off.

“I really don’t want to go to work,” I grumble against her neck, feeling like a kid who’s lost in a girl for the summer.

“You have to,” she says quickly, going still against me.

“I know.” I raise back, confused. She looks pale for some reason all of the sudden, but she slowly relaxes.

She’s been back for well over a month now, and I’ve managed to shove my heart back in her hands. But I still haven’t learned anything about the dark secrets that make her scream at night. Or the reasons for some of the random rules she has.

No “times” is a big one. I follow her rules without questioning her, but I hope she opens up soon.

“I’ll see you when I get off work tonight,” I tell her, kissing her forehead.

Her color has returned, and she beams up at me before sliding off the bed.

I got up and got ready earlier, then ended back up in bed fully clothed while Mika read random passages of her books to me.

I could stay like that all day, just listening to her speak.

Feeling like a lovesick teenager all over again, I lace my fingers with hers as we walk out the door. Aidan came home yesterday, and Mika asked if we could come over here instead of staying there.

I’m sure it’s because Aidan wants to slice and dice me. I get it.

We left before he got back, and Mika turned off her phone when he wouldn’t stop calling. Talk about being way too overprotective. Something must have happened to make him turn into someone who smothers her, considering he didn’t ever give a damn about even speaking to her when they were kids.

It could have something to do with the little bit she told me about her mother and almost killing her. Not that she’s elaborated on any of that.

I walk her out to her car that she insisted on driving last night, and I pin her against the door, kissing her like I don’t want to let go. She’s been consuming me, and every time she kisses me, it’s like she’s giving it all she has, consuming me all the more.

When our lips break apart, she rubs the side of my cheek, feeling the stubble along my jaw.

“I’ll see you after work,” she says on a sigh.

I nod, brushing my lips against hers, and trying to force myself away. I forgot how damn good it felt to feel alive.





Chapter 37



MIKA



Aidan is pacing the front porch when I pull up, and I inwardly cringe. As soon as he spots me, his entire body visibly relaxes.

“Where the fucking hell have you been?”