I hold my phone in my hands, hoping that she reaches out to me, hoping that she gives me a chance, just plain fucking hoping. My eyes close shut. All I see is Marissa's face watching me, smiling at me, crying out for me. I'm afraid to open my eyes for fear she will go away.
I feel her hands on me. I feel her kissing me. It's a fucking dream I don't want to wake up from. It's a dream that I just want to keep dreaming about. It's like she's here with me.
And I fall deeper into a daze, sliding faster down the spiral slide that is my life.
Chapter Ten
Mick
When the sunlight hits my face, I slowly peel my eyelids open. It feels like my mouth is full of cotton balls. I can't even swallow.
When I make it to the kitchen, the dishes from last night taunt me. I pick them up and throw them all in the garbage. I'm going to get new plates, a new table, a new bed, sheets, fuck it all.
Jumping in the shower, I stand under the water till it turns ice cold. And even after that I stay till I can't feel my fingers anymore. I stay till my heart slows to a calmer beat, till all the memories of everything that Sandie put me through are purged from my body. I stay till I feel whole again. I stay till Marissa's smiling face makes me realize there are things worth working for, things worth fighting for. I stay till I know I'm worth it, and I'm going to fucking show her that she is worth it, that we are worth it.
Once I get in my room, I throw the towel down, put on my boxers, and run downstairs to see that I missed a text from Jackson.
What happened with Marissa?
My first thought is that she told him something. I know I pushed the envelope the minute my lips touched hers, but I won't fucking apologize for that. I reply back fast.
Nothing happened with her. Why, did she say something did?
I pick up the phone, checking to see if maybe she texted me also, but there is nothing there.
Where are you?
This is obviously a conversation better had face-to-face.
On my way!
I walk into the station to see Jackson smiling behind his desk. I haven't seen him look calm in the longest time.
"Looks like you got that situation taken care of!" I tell him while I slide into my chair across from him. Our desks are connected in a small corner of the big office.
"So what's the story?" he asks me, not even bothering to take the bait on my greeting.
"No story, nothing." I lean back in my chair, folding my hands over my chest.
"Where is she now?" he asks me, knowing I know exactly who he's talking about.
"Got a job waitressing at the diner across the street. Phyllis owed me a favor. I cashed it in."
"You cashed in a favor for someone you don't even like?"
"It was your fault she got fired, so technically I cashed in a favor so your ass wouldn't feel guilty." I point at him. "You're welcome."
"It's my fault that you punched her boss?" He turns the subject around.
I just shrug my shoulders, not ready to get into it with him.
"Lori called again?"
"She did, almost same MO as before, except this time she said she was chained. Crying, asking for help, begging to come back. Lasted maybe a minute. Then nothing." I sit back up, placing my hands on the desk. "I don't like this shit. I think there is more than meets the eye here. Something else is going on. I just can't pinpoint it," I say, and he doesn't have to say anything for me to know that he agrees with me. This isn't just another case of a teen running away to be with friends, there's more to it. We just can't see what it is yet.
"Where was she when she got the call this time?" he asks me, and I can see him trying to see if maybe there is some other similarity to the last call, hoping to find a dot to connect.
"My house, having dinner."
His eyebrow shoots up. "Your house having dinner? Do I have to say thank you for that one also?"
"Don't make it out to be more than it is. She came by to thank me for getting her the job and putting in a good word with Phyllis." I break eye contact and start pulling papers out of a pile as I pretend to be looking for something.
"Okay, so she came over to thank you. Did you fuck her?"
My head snaps up. I glare at him angrily.
"Watch it! I didn't fuck her. She brought me food, we sat down, and she got the call. She obviously freaked out and wore a hole in my rug trying to get Lori to talk to her. The call ended, she calmed down, and then she left."
"Just like that, she left? I saw her the last time Lori called. She couldn't stop shaking. How long did it take her this time?" He is fishing for something.
"Sandie showed up. Ten minutes after the call." I finally let out the breath I've been holding. Shaking my head, I continue, "Raincoat, naked. Marissa saw and bolted, okay? There, now you got the story. She hasn't talked to me since."
"You know we need to go see her, right? You know we need to follow up?" He doesn't need to tell me this shit, but he does anyway.
"I know," I whisper. "I didn't touch her. We just ate dinner. That's it."
"You don't have to convince me of anything. I don't think you would cross the line."
"There was another girl who went missing two nights ago." I thrust the paper at him. "Name is Jessica, seventeen. Divorced parents. One week with the mother, one week with the father. Started hanging with a new guy on the scene. No one knows him. Just his name. Robbie. Met in secret every time. Not even her best friend knows him or what he looks like. Mother found a bag of weed, punished her for the week. She left to go to her father's, but she never showed up there. He didn't notice until she didn't answer her mother two days later. Mother called the father. He said she texted him saying she was staying at her mom's for a couple extra days. Phone goes straight to voicemail, and it appears the SIM card has been taken out since she had the 'find my phone' app open and now no one can trace her."
"What about school? Any leads there? Did she start hanging with a different crowd?" he asks while he checks all her details. Five foot seven, one hundred seven pounds.
"Nada, best friend said she met this new guy at the mall when she went shopping. Was smitten, started texting like crazy. From that moment on, all her time was spent with him. All Jessica told her was that he was older, drove a car, and 'was hot as fuck,' which, by the way, was a direct quote in case you're wondering."
"Any connection with Lori?" he asks.
"Just the fact they both met a mystery guy no one else has met. I'm going to take off and go check the gang unit. See if they have any leads there. Something might be there. At this point we need anything," I tell him while walking out of the room.
I spend the rest of the day going through the database, running different parameters, searching different names to see if maybe someone else is also working on the case. I call up the gang unit again to see if maybe this is gang related. I come up empty.
After sitting and staring at the computer for more than seven hours, Jackson looks over at me. "Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe they didn't run away at all. What if they were taken?"
I shrug. "At this point, it could be anything. We have nothing, not even a fucking description of what the guy-or guys-looks like. It's like we're chasing a fucking ghost."
"What about the cameras from the mall? I know it's a long shot, but maybe we can catch a glimpse of him so we have a visual of who we're looking for."
"Good idea. I'll contact the security office in the morning. I know the exact date they met because she sent a text to her best friend going apeshit over him."
"Sounds like a plan. Any leads on Adam?" he asks me, knowing he isn't supposed to.
I look around, making sure no one is in earshot before I speak quietly. "Nothing. He's gone. I doubt he's going to come back."
"I still want to know where he's living."
"I know."
He gets up, not saying anything else before shutting down his computer. "Don't stay here too long, yeah?"
"Yeah, I'm going to take off soon," I say while typing in some notes in the system in case a lead comes in during the night.
Once I finish, I close off my own stuff and head downstairs for my car, my stomach rumbling while I walk outside.
I know I should give her space, that I shouldn't throw myself at her. You know what they say, you get knocked down, you dust that shit off and get back up. She knocked me on my ass yesterday, but I'm coming for her again, this time not ready to dust myself off.
Chapter Eleven
Marissa
The bells over the door ring every single time someone walks in. I've been on edge ever since I got in this morning. Lucky for me it's been non-stop people coming in, so my mind hasn't been able to wander to Lori.
Now that it has been quiet and I'm filling the salt and pepper shakers, my mind wanders. It wanders to my baby girl, who is somewhere out there begging to come home. The sound of her voice plays in my head on repeat. My hands start to shake, so I close my eyes and sit down on a chair before my knees buckle.
I blink away the tears threatening to fall over, my heart starting to beat so fast I hear the echoes in my ears. A plate of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and gravy is shoved in front of me. Phyllis's eyes greet me when I look up.