Becker laughed a full, throw-your-head-back laugh. “I can see you doing that,” he teased.
“Sorry about the mess. I was going to clean it today. You kept me out all day. I’m just going to blame you.”
“I’m afraid it’s a lot deeper than that,” Becker quietly spoke, stepping toward me. Shit. Was he about to kiss me? For real? In real life?
“What do you mean?” I asked, staring right at his lips.
“I mean I think you’re holding a lot in. I’ve been reading you all day.”
“What’d you read?” I asked, feeling faint while his hands entrapped me against the back of the sofa.
“I read that you’re trying really hard not to break this barrier between us. Why? What are you afraid of?”
Audible air filled my nostrils. Wishing I could tell him that I knew and that I couldn’t be number four was what I was afraid of. I leaned into him and brushed his lips with mine. I did that all by myself. Nobody told me to do it. I kissed him all on my own. Yes. It’s a trivial milestone but momentous to me. It wasn’t right. It was so wrong. No man should feel that good. I had that fuzzy, lightheaded feeling going on again and an aching in my chest that worked like a drug. I wanted that feeling all the time, forever and ever. And Becker touching me was all I needed in order to have it.
He lifted me to the back of the sofa and ran his hands up my ribs and back. His thumb brushed just below my bra strap like he was willing his thumb not to move any further. I wanted it to move further. My nipples perked, thinking about his thumbs, brushing over them. I slid my hips conspicuously into him. Okay, so maybe I sucked at being conspicuous, too. Becker pulled his tongue from my mouth and steadied his body between my legs.
“I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered after a noticeable hiss.
WHAT?! He was leaving? After that? No way?
Becker laughed and kissed my lips quickly before stepping away. “You’re so bad.”
“Why?” I asked hoping he hadn’t seen my eyes land right on the erection bursting from the right of his jeans. Yup. That could hurt a little. Jesus, Cass. Stop looking at it.
“I’m leaving. What time will you be home from work? I’ll pick you up?”
“Um, can I send you a text or something? I’m not quite sure what Matt has planned for me yet.”
“Matt?”
“Oh, he just works there. I will probably be doing a lot of paperwork for him,” I lied, willing my eyes to look at Snowball and not his crotch again.
“Text me. Goodnight, Cass.”
“Night, Beck.”
Well hell. I sighed, dropping my shoulders in defeat.
Eating a half bag of Cheetos, I laughed at the jiggling boobs. And yes, I ended up ordering the dumb shake weight that I would probably never use. I couldn’t help it. They made it look so cool and worthwhile. My arms were a little flabby, I justified, moving the skin back and forth with my fingers. Not really. There was no fat, but it still looked cool as hell.
***
“Good morning. Good morning, good morning,” I said walking around the conference table. Matt looked at me peculiarly. I ignored him.
I didn’t really pay attention while my dad circled the table, debriefing the old and new cases. I didn’t have to worry about my case. I didn’t have one. I chose to watch the squirrel play outside the window instead. I should have paid closer attention to Matt talking. I had no idea what the hell we were doing.
“You’re awful cheerful this morning. Have a good weekend?” my dad asked as we walked single file out the door.
“I had an awesome weekend. How about you? What did you do, Dad?” I asked cheerfully.
“Not much. Go to work,” he ordered with a frown. I didn’t care. I was on cloud nine.
“Let’s get coffee,” I said, bouncing in Matt’s car.
“How many coffees have you already had?”
“None. I’m just in a good mood today. What time are we going to be finished?”
“Did you not hear a word of the meeting?”
“Um, yeah. Why?”
“We’re getting a hotel in Davenport today. Meeker is flying into Pittsburgh. We need to be there when he gets off the plane.”
“Who the hell is Meeker?”
“I knew you weren’t paying attention. How much longer you planning on doing this? You’re doing nothing but wasting my time.”
“I’m not staying in Davenport. I have plans tonight.”
“Is that why you’re so chipper this morning? Who is he?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m not staying in Davenport with you.”
“Then go back in there and tell your daddy. You’ve got five minutes before I head out.”