Will’s hand sliced angrily through the air. “Enough bullshit, Jessa. I’m not granting you a divorce, and that’s final. And you’d better move your ass back home tonight. I’m done giving you space. Don’t think I’m unaware of what kind of company you’ve been keeping. It’s going to stop.”
His green eyes flashed angrily. One hand curled into a tight fist and Jessa couldn’t stop nineteen long years of conditioning. Her mouth snapped shut as if glued. Angry words pounded her brain, but they were stopped by a dam that Jessa had spent ages constructing.
Will shook himself, straightening his immaculate polo shirt and picking imaginary lint from his khakis. “That’s better.”
Words trickled over her tongue but never made it out of her mouth. Jessa could only watch in numb horror as Will leaned down and brushed an impersonal kiss over her cheek before waving to Chase.
“I’ve got a tee time to make, Jessa doll. You don’t mind do you?” He eyed her outfit again. “And find yourself some more appropriate clothing, please.”
He walked away from her. Jessa let him. None of her newfound bravery, sensual freedom, or determination could wash away the lessons so hard learned during her marriage.
She was a weak, pathetic little mouse. What was wrong with her?
Maybe nothing could change how you were inside. Maybe she was really doomed to spend the rest of her life as a comfortable place for Will to stand.
If that were the case, she would be better off dead.
Chapter Eighteen
“So, how did it go with Terry yesterday?” Alex prodded as he slung glasses into the overhead rack above the bar.
Jessa kept her head buried in the ice dispenser she was trying to defrost. “I don’t know yet.”
“I thought Will wanted out.”
“Things change.”
His silence forced Jessa to peep out for a look at his expression. It was stormy. His unruly blonde curls framed the stony set of his jaw. His normally smiling lips were flat and a frown slanted his eyebrows at a severe angle.
The look was almost more than Jessa could take. She’d had enough of disappointing people for a lifetime.
“Don’t look at me like that, Alex. I don’t intend to run back to him.”
“I would hope not.”
“Then stop looking like you think I would.”
Alex sighed. “I’m sorry. I’d just hate to have to stand back and watch two friends go through hell for nothing.”
Jessa licked her paper-dry lips. “Are you sure Connor would really care?”
“Are you joshing me?”
She stood and tossed the ice pick onto the counter. She wished that Kitty’s words weren’t sitting in her gut like a time bomb. But they were. How could they not? It wasn’t as if Jessa was sweating an ex girlfriend or something. This was a prison sentence for attempted murder!
But if Jessa were honest with herself, it was more than the prison time. The confrontation with Will had left a sour taste in her mouth she couldn’t get rid of. She was deep inside a well of doubt she couldn’t climb out of.
“He’s never once said he loves me, Alex. He doesn’t kiss me, doesn’t talk about our relationship past not wanting to see me with anyone else.”
“Isn’t that a dead giveaway?” Alex fumed. “If he didn’t want you around, he wouldn’t give a shit who you fucked in your spare time.”
“That might be the way a man thinks. But I’m not a man.”
A strange expression crossed Alex’s handsome features.
“Why won’t he talk about himself, Alex?”
“That’s something you’re going to have to ask him, Jessa.”
“How? Anytime anybody mentions the past he clams up and changes subject.”
“Look.” Alex stabbed restless fingers through his hair. “I know Connor. I’ve known him forever. And I’ve never seen him tied in knots over a woman like he is over you. He’s been obsessed with you since the moment you walked through that door.”
Jessa opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t find the words.
“He tried to keep it casual, tried damn hard. Connor didn’t want a relationship. He hasn’t been in one since he was a teenager. But something about you changed his mind. I’ve sat back and watched it happen, let it happen! Don’t make me sorry I didn’t send your pretty little ass packing after that first week.”
In the admittedly short time Jessa had known Alex, she had never seen him this worked up about anything. He was in her face with his eyes narrowed to slits and his words crackling with anger.
“I love him, Alex,” Jessa told him quietly, fervently. “I love him more than I ever thought it was possible to love somebody.”