Tears tried to form and Angel blinked them back. It felt as if the guy just wanted him out of his apartment. But that made no sense. Everything had been fine. Perfect. Why would he act this way now?
Don’t you know? Deep down–don’t you know?
“No.” Angel whispered, choking on a quiet sob. “No, he wouldn’t do that.” He wiped at his eyes, drying them the best he could, then walked slowly down the stairs. Dane cast him a quick glance then grabbed his keys.
“Ready?”
Angel hesitated at the bottom of the stairs as Dane moved towards the front door, eager to go. Or just eager to get rid of you? The lump in his throat swelled, pushing more tears up into his eyes. “Yeah.” He whispered thickly, wetly, and followed the man out of the apartment.
The drive back to the club was weighted with heavy, suffocating silence. Dane kept his eyes forward, tension in his face. Angel wanted to ask him what was going on, make him tell him what had gone wrong. But when he tried, the words lodged beneath the knot in his throat and wouldn’t come up any further. He turned his face away and stared out the passenger window as his vision blurred and his heart began to break apart a piece at a time.
When Dane pulled the car into a parking space to the side of the club entrance, he made no move to get out, but seemed to be waiting for Angel to exit the vehicle. “Aren’t you…coming in?” Angel whispered.
Dane looked out the side window. “No.” he murmured, his mouth resting against his hand.
What did I do? Why are you being like this? Angel’s eyes filled and he grabbed the door latch, popping open the passenger door. What he wanted to say, he couldn’t. And beyond that…what else was there to say?
He shoved open the door, barely containing the sobs squeezing his throat. He could feel the tears seeping out into his lashes, ready to drip down his face.
“Angel.” Dane stopped him and his heart leapt with hope.
“Yes?” he whispered, afraid to try and speak any louder, certain his emotions would break and he might throw himself at the man, begging him to not shove him away.
“I, uh,” Dane cleared his throat but still wasn’t looking at Angel. That wasn’t a good sign. “I had a good time tonight.”
Licking his lips slowly, uncertain where this was heading, he said quietly, “So did I.”
Dane rubbed his mouth, his elbow resting against the driver door as he stared blankly at the outside of the club building. “I like you, but…”
But? No…
“I’m not really looking…” his words faltered, seemed unsteady, but then he neutralized them again. “…for anything serious. And with us being co-workers…maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore.” His lips tightened and he continued to stare out the side window. “I’m not trying to hurt you, but…I don’t want you to think that we’re…together.”
Angel stared at his hands and had no control over the welling tears as they rose up and rolled down his face. He used you. Just because he didn’t abuse you…doesn’t mean he’s any different than the others. Except he got to fuck you for free.
***
The boy stepped out of the car and closed the door quietly. He didn’t say a word, didn’t ask any questions. He just…walked away.
His lean frame blurred as Dane watched him enter the club, arms wrapped around his waist, shoulders weighed down by Dane’s words. A quick swipe of Angel’s hand caught tears off his cheek as he was surely attempting to appear that nothing was amiss when he walked inside.
Dane shifted his wet eyes to the rearview mirror and stared at himself. The emptiness inside him consumed his mind, his heart, and hollowed him out. How could heaven turn to hell so suddenly?
An ache wound up through his face and stabbed into his eyes, drawing out more tears as he backed the car out of the parking lot and drove away, thinking maybe he could just keep on driving and never stop. Maybe outrun all the pain inside…and all that he’d caused outside.