Phoenix Burning(39)

“Phone calls mostly.” He looked thoughtful. “I never cared what the flowers looked like.”

“I’m okay with that.”

His grin warmed her from the inside out. “What were you humming?”

She had already been so honest. Did it really matter anymore? “It’s called ‘Down by the Greenwood Side.’ It’s a folk song my mother used to sing. I told you we were from the hills.”

“What’s it about?” His somber expression told her he was ready for whatever she needed to divulge. Her heart swelled at the thought of this man absorbing—no—accepting every damaged part of her past without a single word of rebuke.

“It tells the story of a mother who has two babies.” She picked up the vase and walked the short distance to the glass-front fridge she used for special orders. “In the song she kills her babies, buries them, and then meets their ghosts later.” She couldn’t meet his eyes, choosing to look at the towel she used to wipe her hands. “At the end of the song, she’s cursed to hell for what she did.”

“Why did your mother sing that to you?” The only hint of his tension was in the corded forearms he rested on her prep table.

“I spent a long time trying to figure that out.” She sat down at the table, laying the towel aside but still unable to meet his gaze. “Now, though, I think she felt guilty for how badly our father treated us.”

“She should have stopped it.” Alex took her hand. She watched her own smaller one disappear in his much larger one.

“Unless you’ve lived a life like that, you can’t possibly understand how difficult it was for her.” Tears prickled her eyes as Emory thought of her mother. “She’s still there with him. Chris and I left her there.”

He stood and came to her, wrapping her in his strong embrace. “Don’t, love. The only choices you can make are yours.”

“Do you have family?” Emory inhaled deeply, drawing his scent into her lungs until she was dizzy with the barrage of complex desires he evoked.

“Just Connor and Gabriel.” He threaded his fingers through her loose hair. “My parents were already in their late forties when I was born. I was an only child, and they died not long after I joined the military. My father lived long enough to see me become an officer. It was his dream I suppose.”

“But not yours?”

“Let’s just say I don’t follow senseless orders very well.”

She tried to picture him marching in uniform and couldn’t. It just didn’t mesh with his personality. He was quirky and outgoing, but he was very much an individual. “How did you wind up a bartender?”

“I started bartending part-time when I was stationed at Molesworth in the United Kingdom. That’s where Gabriel and I met. I broke up a bar fight between him and a US airman. Gabriel was in the Royal Marines; I was Army. We were both captains, neither of us was fond of the life, but we liked to drink and pick up women.”

She couldn’t help it. She rolled her eyes. “Male bonding at its finest.”

“Connor was back here in the states. When I resigned my commission after six years, I came home, and he was just opening the bar.”

Emory remembered something MacIntyre had mentioned. “Was this after he got out of prison?”

He gave a tight nod. “Yes. He’d only been out a year.”

“And Gabriel? Isn’t he still a British citizen?” He obviously didn’t want to talk about Connor’s past. She could respect that.

“I suppose he is. We’ve never discussed it. He called me from New York a year ago and said he was here and needed a job. Connor hired him, and he’s been living in the apartment above the bar ever since.”

He took her hands in his and brushed his lips across her knuckles. The silver Celtic design on his twin black carbide rings glinted. Very gently, she traced the design on the left one with the pad of her index finger.

“Gabriel gave those to me.” A smile lit his features, as if he were remembering something amusing. “He has a matching set.”

“What do they mean?” She wondered what sort of bond the rings symbolized between the two ex-military men.

“Actually, they’re meant to be a reminder.”

She was touched by the idea, especially since Gabriel had sought out Alex when he’d come to the States. “What?”

“It’s childish.” Oddly enough, Alex looked chagrined. “You know, remember to give the finger whenever anyone wants to tie you down.”

Tie him down. As in, whenever he considered getting involved with someone who had an involved issue going on in her life. Her stomach twisted painfully.