Rakel.
The great love of his life. As simple as that. And as complicated.
Oleg. Bright, serious Oleg. Oleg, who had been so introverted, who would not open up to anyone, apart from Harry. Harry had never told Rakel, but he knew more about what Oleg thought, felt and wanted than she did. Oleg and he playing Tetris on his Game Boy, both as keen as each other to smash the record. Oleg and he skating at Valle Hovin; the time Oleg wanted to become a long-distance runner and in fact had the talent for it. Oleg, who smiled, patient and indulgent, whenever Harry promised that in the autumn or spring they would go to London to see Tottenham playing at White Hart Lane. Oleg, who sometimes called him Dad when it was late, he was sleepy and had lost concentration. It was years since Harry had seen him, years since Rakel had taken him from Oslo, away from the grisly reminders of the Snowman, away from Harry’s world of violence and murder.
And now he was standing there by the door, he was eighteen years old, half grown up and looking at Harry without an expression, or at least one Harry could interpret.
‘Hi,’ Harry said. Shit, he hadn’t tested his voice; it came out as a hoarse rasp. The boy would think he was on the verge of tears or something. As if to distract himself, or Oleg, Harry pulled out a pack of Camel cigarettes and poked one between his lips.
He peered up and saw the flush that had spread across Oleg’s face. And the anger. The explosive anger that appeared from nowhere, darkening his eyes and making the blood vessels on his neck and forehead bulge and quiver like guitar strings.
‘Relax, I won’t light it,’ Harry said, nodding to the NO SMOKING sign on the wall.
‘It’s Mum, isn’t it?’ The voice was also older. And thick with fury.
‘What is?’
‘She’s the one who sent for you.’
‘No, she didn’t, I—’
‘Course she did.’
‘No, Oleg, in fact she doesn’t even know I’m in the country.’
‘You’re lying! You’re lying as usual!’
Harry gaped at him. ‘As usual?’
‘The way you lie that you’ll always be there for us and all that crap. But it’s too late now. So you can just go back to … Timbuktu!’
‘Oleg! Listen to me—’
‘No! I won’t listen to you. You’ve got no business here! You can’t come and play dad now, do you understand?’ Harry saw the boy swallow hard. Saw the fury ebb, only for a new wave of blackness to engulf him. ‘You’re no one to us any more. You were someone who drifted in, hung around for a few years and then …’ Oleg made an attempt to snap his fingers, but they slipped off each other without a sound. ‘Gone.’
‘That’s not true, Oleg. And you know it.’ Harry heard his own voice, which was firm and sure now, telling him that he was as calm and secure as an aircraft carrier. But the lump in his stomach told him otherwise. He was used to being yelled at during interrogations, it made no difference to him, at best it made him even calmer and more analytical. But with this lad, with Oleg … against this he had no defence.
Oleg gave a bitter laugh. ‘Shall we see if I can do it now?’ He pressed his middle finger against his thumb. ‘Gone … there we are!’
Harry held up his palms. ‘Oleg …’
Oleg shook his head as he knocked on the door behind him, without taking his dark eyes off Harry. ‘Guard! Visit’s over. Lemme out!’
Harry remained in the chair for a few seconds after Oleg had gone.
Then he struggled to his feet and plodded out into a Bots Park bathed in sunshine.
Harry stood looking up at Police HQ. Pondering. Then he walked up to the custody block. But he stopped halfway, leaned back against a tree and pinched his eyes so hard he could feel he was squeezing out water. Bloody light. Bloody jet lag.
5
‘I JUST WANT to see them. I won’t take anything,’ Harry said.
The duty officer behind the counter at the custody block eyed Harry and wavered.
‘Come on, Tore, you know me.’
Nilsen cleared his throat. ‘Yeah, but are you working here again, Harry?’
Harry shrugged.
Nilsen tilted his head and lowered his eyelids until his pupils were only half visible. As though he were filtering the optical impression. Filtering out what was unimportant. And what was left evidently fell in Harry’s favour.
Nilsen released a heavy sigh, disappeared and returned with a drawer. As Harry had assumed, the items found on Oleg when he was arrested were held there. Only when it was decided prisoners would be on remand for longer than a couple of days were they moved down to Botsen, but personal effects weren’t always transferred.