Perfectly Imperfect(44)

“Not everyone has that person, Kane. You know that, right? You’re painting a picture that to some isn’t always achievable.”

God, if he only knew.

“And therein lies the beauty, Willow. Everyone has that person. And what Impenetrable will hopefully show is that person is most often themselves.”

I lean back, not taking my eyes off his, and let his words sink in. He’s right. I know he is. I’ve lived that life—where the bullies around you want nothing more than to watch you drown. It doesn’t take a physical person to be your shield, but you turning into someone new. Being reborn in a sense as someone stronger. What did he say? Thriving in the face of the fall.

“In order for it to be believable, the protagonist has to want to be someone stronger, which in turn allows her not to be influenced when it comes to the distress in life and the doubt others wish to cause her. She has to be able to show others that the hope they need is within themselves and you are stronger than fear tries to trick your mind into believing.”

He stops talking, and I look over, understanding what he’s creating here and hoping that he’s right; it does give others the hope I didn’t have at that age. Hope to make the change.

“You’re giving people the hope they need to be impenetrable?”

“No,” he says. “I’m giving them the power to believe.”

“In the one person they view as the weakest really being the strongest?”

“Exactly.” He smiles, and when I feel his hand squeeze mine, I realize that during our conversation I had reached out to him.





“CUT,” KANE CALLS OUT, SNAPPING my attention from the scene I had been held captive watching. “That’s a wrap,” Kane continues letting everyone know we’re breaking for lunch while the next scene is set up. I’m still so enamored at everything I just witnessed that I can’t bear to take my eyes from the action around me.

After we had sat down earlier, he caught me up to speed on everything they had filmed so far. Allison, played by Alessandra Hall, was playing a senior in high school. She had been raised in foster care, didn’t have many friends, and didn’t date. That is until the very popular Mark had turned his eyes on her. They had already filmed the majority of the movie; the parts where she had struggled with believing his interest, the contention he had faced in making her believe he was genuine in his interest, and most importantly, how he didn’t care what others thought about him. He was who he was, and he made no apologies for that.

At the beginning of their budding relationship, others around them—his friends and others in his crowd—did their best to ruin things. Allison had verbally and physically been attacked because of their relationship. The ‘popular’ crew was not too happy that their shining star was bringing someone they felt unworthy into their ranks.

The scene shot today was one when Allison finally realizes she is worthy of Mark and the love they share. She emerges from a physical battle against Mark’s ex-girlfriend bruised and beaten on the outside, but finally fighting for herself and not against herself. She decides to make the change and take the higher road, past the forces that want nothing more than to knock her down. She becomes her own shield.

Kane explains to me, through my tears, that this scene is going to be toward the end of the movie. Everything they had shot before had led up to this moment. This mental break where she becomes impenetrable to the hate of others. The point Allison becomes free to soar and becomes stronger.

Alessandra is a brilliant young and up-and-coming actress, but shockingly, she nails the fears and insecurities flawlessly. Her acting is so convincing I’m moved to tears. It’s like seeing my own life—well, not exactly what Allison has gone through—being played out before me. I watch the same emotions I’ve felt in the past choking me strangle her, and then as the scene breaks, I watch in awe as she finally makes the climb to become strong.

“That was beautiful,” I whisper, not wanting to break the magic that is floating around the set after Alessandra walks off. We had been sitting here for so long that I actually felt like what I was watching was reality, even with all the cameras around us. It felt so real.

Kane doesn’t speak, so I finally tear my eyes away from the monitor I had been watching in rapt fascination and meet his penetrating gaze. I don’t say another word, but I can tell by how he’s watching me that he sees right through me. It’s as if he can see inside my mind and the bits of Allison that I carry around. Or did, until I was able to find the strength inside myself to reach my own breaking point.