He closed the gap between us as he swallowed hard. “You think if you keep saying it, I’ll suddenly stop caring? It doesn’t work that way, Kettle. Trust me—I’m fucking torturing myself here, and I can’t stop. I’m falling for you. If it were that easy, I would have walked away by now.”
His last sentence cut deep, but I deserved it. He was hurting from his own past, and I wasn’t helping him. “Abel…” My voice shook as I stared into his stormy ocean‐colored eyes. “What happened to you wasn’t your fault. But me…” My voice trailed off as I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to continue. My eyes slowly opened as his feather‐soft fingers slid over my jaw. “I’m responsible for what happened.”
“You can’t believe that. You can’t control what other people do.”
My hand covered his, intertwining our fingers and pulling his hand from my face. “I can prove you wrong.” I smiled sadly as his eyebrows knitted. I stepped around him and grabbed my purse. With shaky fingers I called Marie.
“Can I see you?” My eyes met Abel’s as he leaned against the archway to the living room. “I think I’m ready.”
“I can be at the office in twenty minutes, Delilah.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “I want to bring along someone…a friend.”
“All right.”
“All right,” I repeated then hung up and slid my phone into my purse.
“Where are we going?” Abel asked as he pushed himself from the wall. I walked around him to where I’d heard the dryer running earlier and grabbed my clothes.
“We’re going to go see Marie, my therapist, and I’m going to tell you what happened to me.”
Abel nodded and went up the stairs to get dressed. I let my fake smile fall as I undressed and pulled on my own clothing. There was no doubt this would end whatever it was we had, and as much as I tried to convince myself that was what I wanted it, the stabbing pain in my chest disagreed.
Chapter Fifteen
Facing Demons
Abel didn’t make chitchat as we drove across town to Marie’s office. I stared out the passenger window of his old muscle car, wishing we could drive to a new town or state where no one knew us, but it was finally time to stop running.
When we arrived I unbuckled my seatbelt but didn’t move. This was going to be excruciating, and even though Abel believed I wasn’t a bad person, there was little doubt that he’d soon change his mind.
“I’m right here, Lie. I’m not going anywhere.” He reached over and grabbed my hand.
“I know,” I lied, because that’s what I did. I gave him a weak smile and pushed open my door, letting my fingers slip from his grasp for what I knew was the last time.
I slowly made my way up the steps with Abel behind me, his hand on the small of my back. My lips still tingled from his kiss, and I wanted to turn around and press them back against his again, but I dragged myself to the door.
I stepped inside, and Abel pulled the door closed behind me.
“I’m in my office,” Marie called out.
“Last chance to run away,” I told Abel.
“Not a chance.” He chuckled as we stepped inside her office.
“Marie, this is Abel. Abel, that’s Marie.” I watched as she stood to shake his hand.
“I’m ready.” I didn’t need to elaborate. I knew Marie had been waiting for me to finally talk about that day when everything had gone wrong. I never wanted to say the words out loud for fear of admitting Brock was no longer by my side. Guilt had eaten away at me every day for missing him.
“Take your time, Delilah,” Marie said with a blank face, but I knew she was pleased. How could she not be? She had worked for months to get me to this point.
My hands shook as I sat down in the oversize black vinyl chair across the room. My eyes focused on a small fountain that was meant to be soothing, but every time I heard it, it made me need to go to the bathroom. Abel leaned against the large bay window, his eyes scanning the surroundings.
“Brock told me not to go to school that day.” I cleared my throat and dared a glance at Marie. Her pen was poised in her hand, but she stared intently at me, not writing. “I had a huge fight with my mom the night before. She found out that I had snuck out to see him.” I rolled my eyes as I peeled the light‐pink nail polish from my thumbnail. “Anyway…” A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed hard, trying to keep my tears at bay. “I couldn’t stay home, not when she was so mad at me.”
I pushed myself up from my seat and hurried over to the water cooler in the corner of the room. I filled a paper cup and chugged down the cool liquid before tossing the cup into the wastebasket. I stared out the window, my arms over my chest, my eyes unfocused. I felt Abel’s eyes on me from the other end of the bay window, but I couldn’t look at him. If I did, I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue.