“What happened to you?” she asked, as she looked over my damp and tangled hair, my face makeup free and puffy from crying. “Guy trouble?”
I glanced up at her, debating whether to give her the usual canned sarcastic response or open up and offer her a sliver of truth. I didn’t have time to decide, because a knock came at the door.
“Speaking of trouble,” she called out in a singsong voice as she went to open the door.
“You look incredible,” Abel said from the hallway, and Trish giggled. “Good enough to eat.”
I nearly chocked on my Cocoa Puffs.
“I just have to grab my purse,” she replied then headed to her room as Abel stepped into view, his hands shoved into his jeans pockets. His eyes were glazed over and red, which only made their blue‐ green color stand out more.
He looked past me, as if I weren’t even there, and smiled broadly as Trish reemerged. His hand slid to the back of her neck, and he pulled her lips to his. I could only stare as they made out a few feet away from me.
“Don’t wait up,” Trish called out, and wiped her finger under her lower lip to make sure her lip gloss wasn’t smeared. She took Abel by the hand and pulled him toward the door. As soon as they were gone, I dropped my spoon, my appetite ruined.
The world spun.
The clock ticked.
Life moved forward.
The only problem was that I was stuck in the past. I refused to let myself move forward and live. I survived, and right now that was all I could do.
I went to my room and grabbed my Kindle and read until my eyes went unfocused; I checked the clock every few minutes. By four in the morning, I debated going grocery shopping. I was craving an omelet. I settled for a quick walk to the convenience store and picked up some breakfast supplies. By the time I got back to the house, my appetite had vanished.
Around five I decided to lie on my bed in the dark and find shapes in the plaster smudges in the ceiling.
A bang and shuffle, bang and shuffle came from the front door.
“Shh. You’re going to wake up Lie,” Trish whispered with a laugh.
“She’s a big girl. She’ll get over it,” Abel panted, and it sounded as if they were making out and tripping their way to Trish’s room. I heard the distinct sound of a zipper coming down and a thud as Abel’s back hit the wall across the hall from my room. I pushed up on my elbows as glassy, empty eyes stared back at me through the open door to my bedroom. My gaze traveled lower to his hand, which was tangled in Trish’s blond hair as she knelt in front of him.
I rolled over and covered my face with my pillow as fresh tears pricked my eyes. Abel muttered something, but it was muffled by my pillow, and the noises stopped with the clicking of Trish’s bedroom door.
My thoughts were a scrambled mess of memories from the past and present. I tossed and turned until the sun splashed lines of light through the blinds.
I got up and got ready for class, tiptoeing through the hall so I wouldn’t wake anyone, but as I stepped out of the bathroom, Abel was waiting outside the door. I stared at the floor between us and stepped around him as he went inside.
I left through the front door before he came back out. Campus was two blocks to the left and three down. I enjoyed the walk on most days because it gave me time to think, but this morning I wanted to shut everything out.
I had only one class with Trish, and that was on Thursdays, so I knew I could avoid the horrid details of her night with Abel for at least a few hours. It didn’t make a difference, though, because my brain zeroed in and focused on what could have happened, and that was probably much worse than the reality of the situation.
I felt bad for what I’d said to Abel that had sparked his memory of the death of his parents. That was what bothered me so much. That was what I told myself as I picked at my burger from the Stop Shop, delaying the inevitable trip home. All my worrying was for nothing as the apartment sat empty when I arrived.
I decided to make the best of my alone time and wash the dirty laundry. I was folding it and putting it away when the front door finally opened.
Trish arrived with Abel, Adam, and Sean. They were in mid-conversation as they entered, and I turned my back to my door as I continued to organize my laundry. The guys made their way to the living room, and Trish stopped at my room.
“Huge party at Sigma Chi tonight. Wear blue.”
“Oh, I don’t really feel like going.” I shook my head and didn’t turn around to look at her.
“Don’t be such a pussy, Lie.” After a moment she sighed. “Boy trouble?”
I nodded but didn’t elaborate, and she left me alone and returned to the living room.
I headed to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. When I turned around, Abel was behind me, his hands shoved into his pockets.