“You’re stupid for selling it.”
His grip tightened, but he didn’t argue as we walked up the creaky porch steps. He guided me up the stairs to the bedroom where I had slept the night before. My moral filter long gone, I unbuckled the belt from my waist as I kicked off my heels and pulled my dress over my head, leaving me in my beige panty‐and‐bra set. I collapsed on the bed, and Abel tugged the comforter from under my body and pulled it over me, his fingers brushing over my stomach as he did. I could barely make out his silhouette in the darkness. I grabbed his wrist to keep him from getting up, my body swimming in euphoria.
“I am so fucking stupid,” was all he said, and his hot lips pressed against my forehead. My eyes closed.
That was the last thing I remembered before waking up several hours later in the darkness. A warm, strong arm held me captive against his body. I pulled against his grip as panic settled deep in my chest.
“I got you,” Abel’s deep, comforting voice whispered into my ear, but I struggled against him because he wasn’t Brock, and my memory was a foggy haze. I had no idea what the hell we had done last night, and now I knew I could never be anything like Trish.
“Let go of me.” I rolled over and was now face‐to‐face with him, my hands on his hard chest.
“I didn’t do anything to you. I promise. You had a nightmare. I couldn’t calm you. The only way I could get you to stop crying was to hold you.”
“Where’s Trish?”
“She’s at home in bed…alone.”
I sighed, my body growing slack against him. “Does she know where I am?”
After a moment of silence, he replied, “She didn’t ask.”
I allowed myself to be held by this stranger—the liar, the jerk. My body vibrated with silent sobs, and he held me as I broke down from the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I cried out for Brock, cursing him for promising me forever and leaving me alone, but Abel’s grip was relentless. I hated myself; I hated him, but he never eased his hold on me, and I needed his embrace more than anything.
I drifted in and out of consciousness and finally awoke for the day right before the sun rose.
“You can let go of me now.” I squirmed against Abel, and his arms went slack as he yawned and I pushed up to sit. “Why are we even here?”
“You want the whole philosophical discussion about our purpose in life or the basics?”
“Shut up.”
“You can hate me, Lie, but you can’t do that shit anymore.”
“What shit?” I asked, as I turned to face him, his face barely visible through the moonlight.
He propped his body up on his elbow and turned on his side. “Why would you ever want to be like her?”
“I am like her.” I stood, wobbling under my weight.
“Liar, liar.” My own words were whispered back to me, and I wanted to scream at him. Stupid stranger, asshole, nice guy. I pulled my dress on and slid my feet into my shoes. I searched for a few minutes until I found my belt and secured it around my waist.
I left the room and made my way on shaky legs down the steps to the front porch. It wasn’t long before Abel joined me, a cigarette perched between his lips.
“You could offer me one.” I didn’t care if I was being bitchy. He laughed, obviously not caring as well. He lit his cigarette and handed it to me.
“You scared me.”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t.
“Is this how you always are? You always take candy from strangers?” His tone was playful, but I knew he was asking if I was always this reckless.
I glanced at him then back at the moon. “No.”
He nodded and stared up at the same vast night sky as I did. “I don’t sell anymore. I wasn’t lying.”
“You think I’m that stupid?” I glanced at him, and his eyes met mine before looking back toward the moon.
“I don’t think you’re stupid, Lie. I think you judged me long before you got to know me.”
“Facts, Abel. Facts. I took a pill that came from you last night.”
I felt his eyes on my flesh. “I’m so sorry for that.”
“Don’t be. I liked it. It was nice feeling…” I was at a loss for words to describe how incredible I’d felt last night. “I felt full of love.” I wasn’t about to play a victim or let Abel know how much I regretted taking that drug. I wasn’t a child. People didn’t treat Trish like she had done something wrong, and they shouldn’t treat me that way either. College was about making mistakes, trying new things without caring about tomorrow. I just wanted to be left alone while I fucked up my life.