I spun around and pulled the door open, my lungs desperate for fresh air. I walked out into the night, down the steps of the porch, and put my hands on my knees as I gasped.
“Are you all right?” Abel called from behind me. I shook my head, not wanting to hear my voice sound weak. Nothing could make me look any more pathetic than my panic attack. Fear crept up from my stomach and spread through my body. There’s nothing to be scared of, I repeated over and over in my head. A hand spread out over my back, and I shot up and turned to see Abel with concern in his eyes, hidden behind the red glaze. The color made the swirling sea color pop, and I stared, mesmerized. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. No one was trying to hurt me anymore, but it didn’t stop the fear that raced in my chest and made me feel as if my heart would explode.
“I just need…a minute.” I looked down at the gravel and grass, which were illuminated by the moonlight.
“Just breathe, Delilah.” His hand was on my back again, and he slowly counted down from ten, his voice low and soothing. I couldn’t help get lost in it and let it cloud my thoughts.
“You a shrink or something?” I joked, as I finally started to come back around.
“No, but I’ve seen my fair share.”
“So you’re crazy. Good to know.”
“Just needed someone to talk to,” he said.
I got that. I got it more than Abel realized. I didn’t know what I’d do without Marie, but there were things I couldn’t even tell her. It was like a brick resting on my chest, on my conscience. It weighed a ton, and I would have loved to have someone help me carry it, take some of the pressure off me, but Brock was out of reach. I could picture him right then, and it made my heart hum.
“Good morning.” Brock stuck his head inside my room, and I jumped from my bed.
“You’ll get in trouble if they catch you in here.”
Brock stepped farther into my room and crossed his arms over his chest, a playful smirk on his lips. “Do you want me to leave?”
I bit my lip as I stared at him. I shook my head, and he smiled at me.
“Then I’m not leaving.”
“They’ll make you. They’ll take away your privileges.” I stepped closer to him and lowered my voice so no one would hear.
“It’ll be worth it, Bird.”
My heart raced at his nickname for me, and for the millionth time, I wanted to ask him what it meant, but my heart was stuck in my throat, and that was when I noticed a sadness in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.
“Nothing.” He laughed nervously and shook his head.
“Seriously? You have to tell me, or I’m going to scream.”
His eyebrow cocked as if he were challenging me. I opened my mouth, but before the sound left my throat, Brock’s body was flush against mine, his strong hand over my mouth as he smiled.
“You trying to get me in trouble, Bird? That’s not very nice. I thought we were friends.”
I tried to ignore the fact that he had called me his friend. It boggled my mind that he’d risk getting into trouble just to be near me—not that I was complaining. His hand slid from my mouth, and I sucked in a ragged breath, suddenly very aware of his hard, muscular body, which was pressed against mine. His eyes narrowed, and the smirk fell from his lips as we studied each other.
“Want to know why I’m sad?” he said. “My mom called this morning to let me know my grandma died. She isn’t even getting me out to go to her funeral back in Boston.” His arm fell from my waist, and I wobbled on my feet as my emotions went from one extreme to the next along with Brock’s. My heart was racing from his nearness and breaking over his pain.
“I’m sorry.” I had no idea what to say. I’d never had a friend, let alone had to comfort one while he or she was hurting.
“Nothing to be sorry about, Bird.” He shrugged, the sad gaze now carefully masked behind a blank stare. “Shit happens, right?” he spat angrily.
I nodded as I picked at my thumbnail.
“Hey.” He stepped closer, the palm of his hand sliding over my cheek, and I struggled not to lean into his touch. “I’m fine. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dumped that on you. This isn’t your problem.” He stepped back, his hand falling to his side as he turned to leave the room.
“Wait,” I whisper‐yelled after him as he stepped into the hall. “Wait for me.” I followed after him, and his lips formed a smile.
“Always, Bird.”
“Where did you go just now?” Abel was in front of me, his face full of concern. I felt like a fool, getting lost in my memories.