The drive from the field to Alice’s house felt longer than it had before, probably because he knew this might be the last time he made the journey. When he pulled in front of her house, she was in the yard, kneeling in front of a flowerbed with her sleeves rolled to her elbows and dirt smeared on her knuckles.
She looked up when he got out of the car, shielding her eyes against the sunlight.
“Not working today?” he called out, knowing the answer already.
“Only two games today. My crew was off.” She rocked back on her heels, crouching low and wiping her hands on her jeans. They were as ratty as the ones he’d worn on their first date, and he liked seeing her this casual. It felt real and honest, her in her ugliest jeans and still as beautiful as anything he’d ever seen. “So was yours, weren’t they?”
“Yeah, last game was yesterday, but we had final drills today. Cleaned out the locker, you know.”
“Just like the last day of school.”
It was strange, standing with the street between them, talking to each other like unfamiliar neighbors. He wanted to go to her, but he felt like closing the gap was risky. He would hold her, and knowing it would be the last time for a long, long time, he might not let her go.
“Permission to approach?” he teased.
“Yeah, c’mere.” After jamming a spade in the soft black dirt, she stepped over the small bed and met him on the driveway.
It didn’t escape his notice she didn’t invite him in.
It was just after noon, so Olivia would still be in school. He wasn’t exactly expecting a midday quickie, but he wouldn’t have said no to it. Keeping him outside was an obvious way for her to place a safe distance between them.
Aside from the one time in her car and a few escalating kisses, they hadn’t done anything sexual in their time together. He was willing to wait if there was something to wait for, but if his balls got any bluer, they’d be purple.
Looked like the only reprieve he’d be getting anytime soon would be from Mister Left Hand. Mister Right Hand, if he was feeling like spending the night with a stranger.
“When do you head out?” She didn’t meet his eyes.
He glanced from her to the car, visualizing his bags in the trunk. “As soon as I say goodbye.”
Alice brushed sweat-dampened hair off her forehead, squinting when she finally did hazard a look in his direction. She tried to smile, but it died on her cheeks, a sheen of tears in her eyes. Rubbing the wetness away with the heel of her hand, she said, “It’s bright.”
Sure, she could play it off like that if she wanted.
Alex reached out, grasping her by the shoulders and pulling her into him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, his nose buried in her hair. She smelled of sunshine and damp, fresh earth, like the promise of spring.
He smoothed her hair back, and she lifted her face to him, the tears in her eyes welling up, even as she tried to smile at him.
“What’s up, pretty lady?” He wiped the tear away and waited, not sure what else he could say.
“You’re going, you know?”
“I’m aware.”
“I’m going to miss you, I think.”
“You think?” He put his hands on her waist and tilted himself back to get a better look at her. “Be sure.”
“Alex…” Her face got serious suddenly, not just sad, but more intense. Something he couldn’t fix with a smile. “You’re going.” This time there was a finality to the way she said it, not as a question but a statement. “You’re going, and I’m staying, and…we had fun, right? It was nice for us to get to know each other, and—”
“We don’t need to decide anything right now, Alice. I mean, I’m going, but we can—”
This time she interrupted him. “What? We’ll email? You’ll invite me out on weekends? Then we wait until fall and see what happens?” Her angry pitch set him off, even though a voice in his head told him she was intentionally trying to push him away.
“Let’s not do anything rash.”
“We’re not a couple. We hung out. You like me. I like you. We can be fr—”
“Oh, come on, don’t friend zone me at this point.”
She pulled out of his grip, putting her hands in her back jeans pockets, looking anywhere but at him. “This won’t work.”
The worst part of it was his logical mind agreed with her. He was moving halfway across the country in two days, and Alice was going to stay here and live her life.
A life he hadn’t earned a place in.
“Okay.” He drifted towards her, wanting to kiss her. She turned towards him like she might meet him halfway, but at the last moment took a step backwards, shaking her head.