People of the Sea(197)
Kestrel extended a hand and in a kind voice, she said, “Lambkill, let me help you bury Little Coyote. We’ll do it together. We’ll bathe him and dress him in a new fox hide shirt. Then we’ll Sing his soul to the Star People. He’ll be happier there, where he will have a body of Light—”
“I’ll never bury him!” Lambkill shouted. Brusquely, he slipped the dead boy back into his pack and laced up the ties. “Never! You hear me? Never!”
Without looking at Kestrel, he said, “At least here, he has me to love him. You wouldn’t understand that. You’ve never really loved anyone. You… you bitch! Bitch in heat!”
Kestrel closed her hand on air, dazed. He’d hunted every trail for a two-moon walk to find her, and she wondered now if he hadn’t done it just to show her that he finally had someone who truly cared about him, someone who would never make him angry or hurt him.
With a weary voice, she said, “I loved you, Lambkill.”
He rose and walked a short distance away to lay the pack atop a dead log. He patted the pack softly while he shook his head. “No, you never did. You just pretended.”
“I didn’t pretend. No one could pretend the kind of feelings I had for you.”
He rubbed his eyes. When he turned, his quartz-crystal necklace sparkled. His head was bowed. Stringy gray hair framed his face. “Do you hear it?” he asked and lifted his eyes to her in panic. “You hear it now, don’t you? That sound like massive feet hitting the forest floor somewhere close by?”
Kestrel listened. She did hear something, a rumble, like far-off thunder. “I… I think it’s just the storm in the distance, Lambkill. That’s all. You know how the sound of thunder carries across the hills.”
He returned and sat cross-legged before her, his shoulders hunched forward. He looked beaten, and frightened. He kept glancing out into the forest as though to penetrate the shadows. Kestrel’s eyes narrowed. She’d been afraid of him for most of her adult life. But now, seeing his fear, she could scarcely believe him the same man who had tormented her for five cycles. Had he changed since she’d left? Perhaps grown a human heart? The way he’d treated that dead baby made her wonder. And hope! Maybe she could talk him out of killing her … “Lambkill,” she said carefully, “I’m sorry I hurt you so much.”
“You did, Kestrel, you tore my soul in two.”
“I know. I—I didn’t mean to. I was just so lonely. You were always gone, and then when you came home, you beat me so badly. That’s … that’s why I turned to Iceplant.”
“What?” he said, as though he hadn’t heard. He had occupied himself with rubbing his fingers in the pine duff.
Quietly, she repeated, “That’s why I turned to Iceplant. You were never home. I was lonely. And you beat me for things I didn’t do. Can you understand?”
Slowly, Lambkill lifted his face and peered at her. No emotion crossed his face. None at all. He just stared blankly.
Kestrel mustered her courage and reached out to touch his knee, hoping to show him that even after all he’d done to
her, she could forgive him. Her fingers trembled when she placed them on his pants. He flinched slightly. “Lambkill, please. I…”
He leaped forward with stunning swiftness, grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her down onto the ground, where he crawled on top of her. He’d pulled out his knife again and held it to her throat. She could feel the sharp obsidian blade pressing into her flesh, his hard penis against her abdomen. She squirmed, trying to move away. He used the antler handle of his knife to bash her in the temple. It was a warrior’s trick, to stun the enemy.
“Lie still! Be quiet!” He shifted, cocking his head to listen.
The vision in Kestrel’s right eye blurred, and sickness welled into her throat. The forest seemed to dim suddenly, as though a thick curtain of black clouds had been drawn across the face of Above-Old-Man. Oh, Blessed Spirits. I must stay awake. He’ll kill me for sure if I don’t!
She fought to get deep breaths into her lungs, though the weight of his body on her chest made it difficult. She dared to look up at him. His mouth opened as if to speak, but he said nothing. He bent down almost nose to nose with her and stared unblinking into her eyes. Then he kissed her.
Mad. He’s completely mad. Behind him, she saw the brightest Star People glittering through the cloak of moonlight. Tree limbs danced above, clattering against each other violently. When Lambkill pulled his head up, a smile curled his lips. “Are you ready to die, my wife?”