“Where are you going?” I ask.
“To get you a cup of soup. I think perhaps you’re strong enough to eat. While I’m gone, think about compassion and water.”
I close my eyes. Out over the lazy river, gulls flutter and squeal, as though the people are throwing them tidbits of food.
Water and compassion. Being soft and yielding. Low places and low creatures. The foundation of things, not lofty ultimate truths. Sinking downward …
I am sinking downward. I feel it every instant.
The thought terrifies me.
Forty-five
Astcat propped herself on her walking stick and stared at the darkness behind the swaying door flap. Red Dog had waited until Cimmis had left for the Council lodge before he’d sneaked in. His meeting with her had been short, terse, and as disappointing as the rest of her life. Even though he had left, the pungent scent of his sweat lingered in his wake.
Plots within plots. She had been good at this once, back before her soul had loosened. She had no notion of how long she had been away this time.
Her knees wobbled as she slowly made her way back to the thick stack of hides beside the fire.
Most of their belongings had been packed and sent ahead to Wasp Village. The lodge felt barren. She kept looking for the baskets and bowls that had been sitting in the same spot for many summers and now were missing. The constantly lost sensation left her feeling gutted.
She combed shoulder-length gray hair away from her wrinkled face. The coals made the very air seem awash in blood. Across from her, Killer Whale swam on his shield, his tail swaying slightly. “What do you think I should do? Hmm? Run or fight?”
The red and blue shades of Killer Whale’s body had faded. At least she thought they had. Perhaps her soul sickness had affected her eyesight. She strained to think. Blessed Ancestors, she had to think … .
She heard ghostly steps outside and thought it might be Red Dog returning. What had he forgotten to tell her? The steps almost weren’t there, like snowflakes falling upon the ground.
Astcat stared at the door.
A tall woman lifted the flap and stood silhouetted against the starlight. She had her hood up, but long hair streamed around her familiar form.
“Ah,” Astcat whispered, “I’ve been expecting you for a long time.”
“This is a dangerous game you play, Matron, moving around the edges of your husband and the Council. Red Dog carries one secret message for Ecan, another for the Council, and a third for you. It’s like playing dice with a grizzly bear.”
Astcat bowed her head. How could the woman have discovered … But, then this was Dzoo. Perhaps she’d seen it in a Dream, or in the patterns of the future. Perhaps a wood rat had told her while it was carrying grass to its burrow in the rocks. “Of course it’s dangerous. But what do you think would happen if I announced tomorrow that I was stepping down?”
Dzoo whispered, “The North Wind People would begin killing each other in the fight over the succession.”
“Yes.” Astcat nodded soberly. “And if my daughter survives, she’ll struggle to find her position. As the new clan matron, the Old Women would bully her, or any other successor, into anything they wish. If I do not step down, Rain Bear will lead the Raven People against us. No matter what I choose, there will be war.”
“And if Evening Star returns?”
Astcat anxiously tapped the floor with the head of her walking stick. “You think that’s why I invited her back? To declare her matron? Think about this, Dzoo. Once the Raven People have amassed their warriors, how long do you think they will let her rule? How long do you think they will let her live?” Tears welled in Astcat’s old eyes. “If I were to declare her matron tomorrow, it would be her death sentence.”
Wind Woman teased the hood masking Dzoo’s face. “She will not accept no matter what you offer.”
“She must. She has to. She cares too much. She knows how young my daughter is. I’m sure Evening Star has regretted that her mother ever opposed us. Were it not for Naida’s obstinacy, Evening Star would be a village matron now, and on her way to being matron of the North Wind People.”
Dzoo placed a hand on one of the lodgepoles and leaned in the entry to whisper, “There is another way.”
Her face reflected the red gleam of the lodge like a pool of water. “What other way? Give up? Throw myself upon Rain Bear’s mercy?”
“I am not the Dreamer you must listen to.” Lightning flashed, silhouetting her tall body in the doorway. Dzoo cocked her head. “He has found his wings.”
“Who?”
“You will know.”
The night sky seemed to darken behind Dzoo as thunder rumbled across the rugged land.