He nodded weakly. “I know. They fear that once you get to know me, you’ll run as fast and as far as you can.” He shivered lightly before he could suppress it. “Most people are terrified just by the sight of me.”
Musselwhite reached up and pulled the blanket higher to cover his bare chest, then tucked the edges down around his sides. Her hands moved expertly, as if she had tucked many a boy into bed. Gratitude filled his souls. The faded red and yellow designs on his blanket highlighted the paleness of his skin. “You don’t seem so frightening to me, Pondwader.”
“Don’t I?”
“No.”
He smiled. “Then you are the only one here who feels so.”
“Why do they fear you? The legends?”
“Yes … mostly.” He winced suddenly and squeezed his eyes closed. The pains grew worse each hand of time, like icicles plunged into his heart.
“Are you all right?”
A swallow went down his throat. “It’s just … I … I’ve been having sharp pains … in my chest.”
“Fever does that. I’m sure they’ll go away when you gain your strength back. Do you want me to leave you so that you may sleep? Perhaps I should have waited until—”
“No, please stay, Musselwhite,” he said, and slowly opened his eyes and squinted at her. “I am so very glad you came to speak with me. There are things I wish to tell you, and I … I would like to say them to you now, while we are alone, and before I lose the courage.” He glanced at the council shelter where his mother stood grimacing. He could feel her anger gnawing in the pit of his stomach. “Or someone comes over to stop me.”
Musselwhite nodded. “Please. Go on.”
“First,” he said, rushing, “I—I am not a warrior. I know this will disappoint you. Kelp says I can’t hit the ocean with a dart, and it’s true. Because I am so inept with an atlatl, I am also a very bad hunter, but you must believe me when I tell you I have other—”
“But I heard that you killed a bear last summer. Beaverpaw said you darted the animal right through the heart.”
“Yes, well,” Pondwader kneaded his blanket with his hands, uncomfortable with the story. “That’s true … as far as it goes. But I didn’t hunt the bear. I hope they didn’t tell you I did. Sometimes my family is overly eager to make me seem normal. Kelp and I were out picking berries and I accidentally walked between the sow and her cub. The sow attacked so quickly, I just defended myself, and managed to kill her in the process.” His lips tightened into a white line. “I felt very bad about it. I’m sure the cub died, and all because I wasn’t watching where I was walking. It was my fault.”
Musselwhite tilted her head in understanding and Pondwader plunged on. “Please believe me when I tell you I have other talents. Truly, I do. Things that will be useful to you. If you will only give me the chance to show you, I promise I will make you a good husband.”
Pondwader bit his lip, waiting for her to respond. In essence, he had just told her he could neither protect nor provide food for their family—either of which would ordinarily result in the immediate termination of marriage negotiations. He lowered his eyes, frowning down at his hands, but from the corner of his eye he saw her smile. Had it occurred to her that his family had coached him on what to say to her and how to say it—and that his relatives would be stunned to discover what had come out of his mouth just now? From the expression on her face, she suspected it.
Musselwhite reached out and put her hand over his, stilling its restless movement. Her fingers felt slender and cool. “I would like to make a bargain with you, Pondwader. There are things I wish to say to you, as well, but I must ask that any words spoken between us tonight be ours and ours alone. Can you—”
“Oh, yes, yes, I do agree!” Relief slackened his face, and beneath her palm, he bravely turned his hand, so that he could clasp her fingers. She took his hand in a strong grip. “Thank you. If my mother ever found out what I just told you, she would certainly strangle me.”
“You exaggerate, I’m sure.”
“No, Musselwhite. Unfortunately, I do not. You see, I know that I am being offered as payment for my mother’s gambling debts, and if this marriage should not occur, for whatever reason, she will think it is my fault, that I ruined it somehow. My relatives will surely find me dead—”
Musselwhite smiled, but he continued, afraid to stop now.
“—and I do not wish to ruin it. Please, if I offend you, or say something silly, tell me. I will find a way to make amends.”