“Careful,” Pearl cautioned. “You didn’t give him another skunk, did you?”
To Otter’s surprise, Black Skull laughed.
Green Spider and Catcher emerged from the huddle of blankets, and each yawned, stretched, and shook in perfect synchronization.
Then Green Spider climbed to his feet and lifted his hands to the sunlight. He beamed happily at the morning, and the sun illumined the planes of his triangular face as he bent over and broke wind in Pearl’s face.
In reply, she used the paddle to splash water at him. “What did you do that for?”
Green Spider turned Dream-haunted eyes on her and smiled.
“I wanted you to be able to see the root of your troubles more clearly, Pearl. You must stop thinking you’re the only impure one in the canoe.”
“What?” She looked from Black Skull to Otter and back again to see if they understood. Each shrugged. “You broke wind in my face! And I’ll tell you this. Do it again and I’ll hammer a hardwood plug into you so you blow up like a fishing bladder.”
“Good idea, Anhinga.” Black Skull thumbed a nick in the blade of his paddle. “But he’d probably just belch twice as much to even things out—and who knows what it would be like if he threw up?” Otter sighed as he placed one of the packs of hanging moss underneath his blanket for a cushion. The Contrary had been watching him with narrowed eyes. Why? Had his words for Pearl been aimed at Otter, too? What could impurity have to Otter turned abruptly to watch Pearl settle herself, feet toward him, on the rolls of palmetto matting. The day would be warm; nevertheless, she pulled her blanket up to her chin, shading her face with a curled cattail mat.
For a moment, their eyes met, and he sensed the regret she hid so well.
He took a breath, longing to crawl forward and tell her how much she’d come to mean to him, how he’d felt his heart opening to her.
Don’t be an idiot! his responsible side cautioned. The last thing she wants is a lover, not after what the Khota did to her.
She must still feel … tainted. He forced himself to close his eyes, breaking that contact. Just be her friend. That’s all she wants, Otter. Just friendship.
He slept through most of the day as Black Skull and Green Spider paddled them north, paralleling the endless sandy beaches. In his dreams, Red Moccasins taunted him, forever warm and inviting, always retreating just out of his reach. The more desperately he loved her, the more fervently she rejected him. And somewhere in the background, Pearl laughed at him before she broke into tears.
Locked in the misery of his dream-self, he met a sad-eyed Four Kills coming toward him along a burned forest trail. ‘ ‘ waterfall is waiting, brother. Red Moccasins is no longer yours.
Hurry, Otter, northward. Down there in the foaming, clear water, you’ll end your misery once and for all.”
Pearl awakened to the evening. She stirred and banished the tormented nightmares of firelight flickering golden-yellow on a man-wolf monster that loomed over her. She’d been cowering, naked and staring in horror at the beast’s serpentine penis as he bent over her. Helpless, she’d been unable to do anything except tremble in anticipation of the painful violation.
Otter had stood in the shadows, watching with impotent eyes.
Each time she’d called out to him, he’d turned his back on her and her tormentor.
If only she hadn’t come to care so much for him. She’d never known a man as strong and gentle. From the moment he’d pulled her out of the river, he’d shown her nothing but kindness, respect, and equality. In the center of the storm, they’d worked as the perfect team. She’d searched all of her life for that feeling of unity, And now that you found it, he won’t let himself touch you because of what the Khota did to you. She turned over to stare at the hewn side of the canoe and the thick weave of the heavy brown pack she lay on. Faint images of Otter’s strong hands floated up. She could imagine them, warm and soft, on her skin.
She could see that glint of desire in his gentle eyes. Enough of sleep’s fog remained that she could run her hands under his shirt, trace the swelling muscles of his chest and belly with her fingertips. As she held him close, the beat of his heart matched hers. She knew how his body felt against hers, and knowing that, the ache for him went deeper and deeper.
Any chance that such fantasies might become reality had died that night when Wolf of the Dead took her. His taint would last for the rest of her life.
What life, Pearl? Where can you go? What can you do? You are a woman without a home—without a clan, or a family.
You’ve become nothing.
She removed the sunshade, threw off her blanket, and rose, looking back at Otter. He lay on one side’, curled up as if he’d been kicked in the stomach. His head was pillowed uncomfortably on the curved stern.