People of the Fire(87)

"I think my mother and Hungry Bull are going to sleep together."

Her simple statement shocked him. He turned to stare, suddenly adrift again, seeking some secure footing from which to deal with this new revelation.

"But he . . ." Mother? Could he forget Sage Root? Just like that?

As if she understood, she asked, "How long has he been alone? Almost five years, isn't it? He looks like he's a very lonely man."

He swallowed and forced his attention off to the east, out over the huge basin where Heavy Beaver now controlled the Short Buffalo People. "Yes," he replied dully. "A long time." And Hungry Bull lived alone, probably more alone than he did. Would it be so terrible? Would it be a betrayal of the dead if he slept with Rattling Hooves, who smiled warmly and had laughter dancing in her gentle eyes?

"You look unhappy."

He shook his head, still wondering what he felt. "I don't know. No, not unhappy. Just . . . lost. Like I don't understand anything anymore. So much is happening and I'm . . ."

"Confused?"

He nodded, glancing at her. "Every time I start to feel like I know where I am, it all changes again."

She stared at him, a slight frown on her face. "Can I help?"

"I don't know." Then sourly: "You may not want to. I seem to bring trouble wherever I go. Do you know the story of my real mother, Clear Water?"

She gasped, staring at him with wide eyes. "That's who you are? The story's told among the Red Hand. That she had the baby and was killed. That Two Smokes was crippled and the child died. That White Calf came too late and only Two Smokes was alive."

"Well, that's not what they tell me. And no one tells me who my father really was." He propped his chin. "That's funny, don't you think?"

She bit her lip, staring off into the distance as the evening rushed toward them. "You don't know? Really?"

"No. Two Smokes wouldn't tell me."

"Blood Bear."

He stiffened. "Blood Bear? My ..." He shook his at the impossibility of it. "No. That can't be. Impossible."

She avoided his eyes, turning her attention to her suddenly nervous hands. "I don't know. He was married to Clear Water. Something about a Dream of hers. Then she left the Red Hand with Two Smokes. Blood Bear killed his father-in-law. Cut Feather."

"Who White Calf had been married to." His understanding drifted away again, leaving him frustrated and uncertain. "I don't. . . Why isn't this simple? Why does it always seem to be caught up in circles without ending?" He swallowed hard, soul tracing the pattern, understanding White Calf's words.

''What's wrong? You've gone pale."

"Blood and dung," he whispered hoarsely. "It never stops, does it?"

"I don't understand." She shook his hand, the touch warm against his. "Little Dancer? Are you all right? Look at me."

Absently, he turned his head, seeing the anxious light in her eyes. Her hand tightened on his. He smiled weakly.

"It's all right. Really, it is." But his soul drifted like smoke, twisting and without form, homeless, to blow here and there on the wind.

"You feel cold," she told him, snuggling closer.

A sick feeling formed in the pit of his stomach. Was that part of the Power? That he constantly be upset, left reeling and off balance? Of course, he didn't know for a fact that Blood Bear really was his father. Two Smokes would know— if he'd tell. Or else it all might remain hidden, another layer, another circle within a circle to spring at him when least expected.

Desperate, he hugged Elk Charm close, laying his cheek on her head, enjoying the reality of her physical presence. The fragrance of her hair filled his nostrils. A new stirring rose within him, one associated only with Dreams.

He pushed her back so he could stare into her worried eyes. She studied him anxiously.

"I don't know myself anymore."

She nodded slightly. "Could I help?"

Something about love and coupling under the robes that lessens the way Power works within you. A man and woman joining like that, it dilutes the call of the Power. Makes you less susceptible to the thirst for Dreaming.

He stared into her kind eyes. "Have you ever ..."

She smiled inquisitively. "Go on."

"You're a woman."

"You want to couple with me?" She looked away into the distance, a slight flush rising in her cheeks. "If your father marries my mother ..." She swallowed hard. "What would ... I mean, is that incest?"

He gave her a sober stare. "Hungry Bull isn't my father. My mother was Clear Water. You say my father was . . . was Blood Bear."

She chewed her lip for a moment before she burst into happy laughter. "Of course! And he's not even of my clan! We're free, Little Dancer. I've been worried about it for days, but we're free!"