Warm wind sighed through the weather-gnarled trees around them. The delightful sun warmed the rocks and shot through the fall-dried grasses in tawny colors. The late flowers turned yellow heads toward Father Sun's gentle car
"It's not you. Normally, White Calf would be talking your ear off trying to get you to learn all about the plants and things. She'd be telling you endlessly how to do this and that. It's Little Dancer she's worried about."
"He seems nice
"That's what she's worried about."
Elk Charm's fingers slowed. She looked up at him frankly. "That he's nice?"
"No . . . it's that think so
"So
"So, he's a young man ... as you're a young woman."
"That's bad?"
Two Smokes moved with the speed of a falcon, slapping at the fly. He grinned, looking at the mashed body smeared on his palm. "Not bad for an old berdache, eh?" Then he got back to the subject. "Little Dancer has Power. White Calf worries that if he gets involved with a woman—namely you, since you're the only woman around here—he'll lose it."
"And she thinks he's interested in me?"
Two Smokes smiled wistfully. "He's interested. He just doesn't know it yet. You're interested in him. I watch you glancing back and forth, playing the games that lead to giggles and finally to the robes. You're a woman, freshly made in the manner of the Red Hand. It's our way that you lie with a man to prove your womanhood. You're curious, wondering what it's like."
"How do you know so much about women?"
"You'd ask a berdache?" Two Smokes laughed with genuine amusement. "We're the mediators, the ones who know J the hearts both of men and women. We're half of each—and something different. Not men, not women. You know that— I'm made that way by Power.
"Oh, I remember what it's like. But things are a little different for a berdache. The man I loved was called Five Falls. I had gone as a youth to Cut Feather, of course, and asked him to proclaim me as berdache. I knew, even then, that I was berdache. I enjoyed the games of little girls and not the rough and tumble of the boys. One shouldn't fight what they are. To the body, it matters not what physical equipment we're blessed with, the drive for coupling is always there.
"Five Fails and I had been friends for a long time. To be berdache is never easy, even in a society like the Red Hand. Generally the trouble comes when you're a child before you— and others around you—have come to realize what you are. But Five Falls had always seemed to know. He was older by a couple of years, but he'd always taken care of me. When I was declared berdache, he took me for a second wife. He got great prestige for that, and we'd always cared for each other anyway. Fallen Aspen was his first wife. She didn't particularly like me, but then first wives can be jealous. It's not unknown," he added dryly.
"She bore his children and I was his lover. We were especially happy even if Fallen Aspen groused a lot. She had little to complain about. I did the work; she got the status."
Elk Charm nodded. "Five Falls died in a bad fall, didn't he? Hunting mountain goats, I heard."
Two Smokes stared into the distance. "Winter hunting takes great courage. I'd told him not to go. Just one of those feelings a person gets in his bones." He clapped callused hands to his knees. "Well, no matter. That was long ago. Clear Water became my friend after that. She, too, had problems with not fitting very well. We were drawn together."
"You shared a robe with her?" Elk Charm wondered.
Two Smokes nodded. "A time or two. I suppose the reason for that came from the Power. A berdache lives between Power and the world. Love comes in many ways, that's all— and spirit called us together. My real preference was always for men. But I lose my point. I've watched young people for years. I see the attraction between you and Little Dancer."
Elk Charm concentrated on the bark she worked, feeling the prickly stiffness of it between her palms as she rolled it back and forth. "He's got a look in his eyes that touches me inside. Like he's been hurt. It makes me . . . well ..."
"Want to hold him? To help him? I know, that's the way of humans. We wish to ease each other's hurts. Is that your only reason?"
She smiled shyly. "I also think he wouldn't hurt me. After Blood Bear and the thought of what he'd . . ." She shook her head. "Oh, I don't know. I never thought it would be this complicated."
"He's just passed his thirteenth summer." Two Smokes i raised an eyebrow.
She considered. "He seems older."
Two Smokes nodded. "Life hasn't been kind to him. I told you, Power walks with him. It fills his Dreams, and it's hurt him in the past. Now he seeks to avoid it. Only I . . . well, I wonder what his way will be in the end. A berdache is thought to be touched by difference. That Power hasn't treated me kindly through the years. The Short Buffalo People used to beat me. The men would rape me when they got the chance. To them I was a freak, an accident of nature they couldn't comprehend—and therefore dangerous. Some thought I'd ruin their children somehow, like a contagion.