"Worried about being a woman? Tanager wasn't any too specific.”
Elk Charm swallowed hard, nodding in the blackness. The old familiarity they shared—that close link between a mother and daughter who'd suffered together—communicated more than words
"Well, don't. There's not much you can do about it. I gue88 I made it, huh? Just be yourself. Wait and I thing happens like it will happen. You don't need to be afraid of the future. Life just comes and you live it day by day.
Right now you are scared of what it will be like. When you've cleaned your first grandson's runny butt, you'll wonder where it all went."
"It's not that." Her heart started to race.
"Oh?" Her mother's warm voice rose in question. "That's what worried me."
"It's . . . well, Blood Bear." The charcoal arrows Green Horn had drawn on her thighs itched in the darkness: a premonition?
Her mother sighed. "I see. He's been watching the lodge?"
"Ever since everyone left. He knows I'm ready. Only . . . Mother, not him. I don't ... I mean ..."
Her mother moved closer in the darkness, shifting. A warm arm settled around Elk Charm's shoulders. "I think I understand." Silence stretched. "Is it all men? Or just him?"
"Just him. I hoped it would be Snaps Horn. He's said some things—well, maybe even promised. I don't think he was teasing. I've seen him watching me. I wish it could be him. I really do. But other men, well, I can say no to them."
"That's right."
"But Blood Bear keeps the Wolf Bundle. No one says no to him. I can't ... I won't let him touch me. I don't want what he does. He hurts women. I heard about what he did to Soft Spring Shower her first time. He made her bleed. That's not right. I don't want to hurt."
"Shhh! I know. If it were me, I wouldn't want to either. I got lucky. When I left the lodge, I had wonderful men to choose from."
"But I-"
"Hush, girl. I'm thinking."
Long moments passed. Elk Charm kept looking under the flap toward the camp. The evening fires had been lit in the lodges. The cone-shaped tops of the hide shelters glowed yellow brown, lit by the firelight within. She knew the scenes from experience. Inside, people sat, laughing, telling stories about Elk Charm's childhood, wondering who she'd marry in the end. Most of the tales began with, "Remember when Elk Charm was five? Remember when she ..." and they'd go on.
Why did these cold fingers of dread trace through her soul
despite the celebration? Why did Blood Bear have to want her?
“White Calf."
“What?"
Her mother nodded slowly in the darkness. “That's the answer. I'm sending you to White Calf's. In the meantime maybe Blood Bear will forget you. Or maybe you'll find a man somewhere, eh?"
“But why would I go to White Calf's? I don't—"
"Where else would you be safe? Hmm? Fast Runner's? Blood Bear would just go there . . . and besides, your family is all here, so you wouldn't have an excuse. We've got to get you someplace that you'd be expected to go. White Calf's is perfect."
“Why would I be expected to go there?"
"Because I'll be busy. I'll-"
"But there are all those Short Buffalo People there! That hunter! He might-—"
“Quit panicking. Not even a Short Buffalo hunter would bother you in White Calf's camp. You know better than that. Besides, the berdache, Two Smokes, will be there to guard you. Even now, after so long, people don't forget Cut Feather's murder. To Blood Bear, the berdache is a reminder of those days of disgrace. If there's one place Blood Bear won't go, it's White Calf's."
"But why would I go there? I mean, won't Blood Bear know that it's him that I'm hiding from? Won't he make it worse when I come back?"
"Didn't I teach you years ago to trust me?"
“Well . . . ye
"Good, because you're going for medicine for your mother-in-law. Wet Rain is sick."
“She's sick? But I saw her just—"
"You know, I might have taught you to trust me, but you didn't get my brains, girl. Fortunately, Wet Rain's got plenty of her own. She'll act plenty sick for a couple of days. And your step-father hates Blood Bear about as much as anyone does. Old Cut Feather was One Cast's best friend, you know. He thought of him like a father. He'll play his part I wouldn't have married him after your father died if he hadn't had sense . . . and cared for you, too.
"So here's what we'll do. I'll sneak back with a pack and you leave tonight. You know the trail to White Calf's. Go fast, girl. You can be halfway there by morning. If anyone asks, I'll tell them you've gone to get medicine for Wet Rain's stomach ache. I'll send word when it's safe to come back."