"Once we were the Red Hand. We lost the right to that name under Blood Bear's leadership." At that, she clapped her bloody hand to her chest, letting the clotted liquid seep into Two Smokes' carefully tanned leather. "Now we are again!"
Elk Charm slashed the grass with her digging stick. The seeds shot every which way, most missing the collecting basket.
Hungry Bull saw her anger and straightened before walking over.
She crouched on her knees, head down. Mourning-shorn hair tickled at the nape of her neck. The dullness in her heart pounded against an empty soul. She barely felt Hungry Bulls hand on her shoulder.
“We've always known," he said kindly.
She shook her head. "Not like this. I never thought it would be like this." Frustrated tears burned at the corners of her eyes, flooding across to shimmer her vision. “Last night. In the robes. He wouldn't even touch me. He pushed me away. Said he couldn't . . . not with the Dream."
She wiped at her drippy nose, and sniffed. "I don't know him anymore. I can't reach him. He's a stranger to me."
Hungry Bull settled beside her, hugging her tightly. "He's found Power. It's something beyond us. Two Smokes was telling me—"
"Two Smokes! Two Smokes! That's all I ever hear anymore! Two Smokes is the only one who can talk to him? I ... I hate him! I hate it all. Maybe he'd better go with his berdache! Share his robes with him
"Hush. You don't mean that." Hungry Bull's soft voice reflected his own disquiet. "You're angry right now. Upset. Two Smokes has never been anything but kind to us all. He's shown us all how to live. When you had your babies, it was Two Smokes who sat with you all night, feeling your pain. It was Two Smokes who nursed you when you were sick that time. He loves you with all his heart. And if he'd heard you say that, you would have killed part of his soul. It's not his fault."
She glared up at him, made more miserable by the knowledge he was right.
"There, now, this will all be over one day."
She shook her head. "I'm glad you believe so. I can feel the change. It's all through him. Like pus in a wounded deer."
Hungry Bull sighed. "Perhaps. But he was born for it. I guess I never really thought it would be like that. I always tried to avoid Power. I never understood it. Maybe that's why White Calf left him with me. Maybe he needed to live like that."
She looked up at him, resenting the extra time Hungry Bull had had with his son. Time she'd been excluded from. The thought shamed her. She turned her head away.
"I know. But I love him, too." Hungry Bull gestured fu-tilely. "I've got my own sorrow. When I should have been there for him, I was locked away in my own heart. I spent too long mourning Sage Root. Drowning myself in pity when I should have been listening to his needs, helping him come to terms with the Dreams. Instead, I ran away, kept to myself." A pause. "You gave him the happiest moments of his life, you know."
"Why doesn't it feel that way?"
"Because the hurt is new. And you're making yourself suffer for what might come in the future."
"I don't see anything getting better. All he does is sit up on the ridge with that cursed wolf. When I go to talk to him, he's locked away in his head . . . Dreaming during the day. He barely eats. He won't talk except to Two Smokes. It's making me crazy."
"Two Smokes says they're going after the Wolf Bundle."
"I know."
"It's Power, Elk Charm. It's just the way it is. We can't control it. If a tree falls in the forest, it's beyond your power to set it upright again. Power is like that with Little Dancer. Power is part of the world, like the wind that blows over trees. Once it's come, it won't go back again."
"When a tree blows over, it's dead."
"Then that's one of the better things about Power. He's not dead."
"He might just as well be."
Hungry Bull lifted her chin with a callused finger, searching her eyes. "Tell me, if you could drive the Power out, and you knew it would ruin his life—like cutting off his leg-would you?"
She stared at him, the dullness spreading. "No."
"Wouldn't you be grateful he's happy? Isn't that the real meaning of love? No matter what, you've got the girls. You've had his smile and all of his love. Now he has to belong to the world and spread what he knows around. Two Smokes thinks Little Dancer can change things, stop the war. Isn't that worth something?"
For a long time she hesitated, knowing she remained powerless to stop the turmoil her life had been pitched into. “I suppose." And I know he has to do this. To stop him would kill him. I just didn't know how badly I’d hurt.
He smiled and winked at her. "Then come on. Lets till these baskets and see if this scheme to make food out of is any good."