Forcing a welcoming smile to her lips, Sylvie took the tray from Ran’s housekeeper.
She had been working in the library all morning, painstakingly going through the accounts and costings for the work she had already commissioned for Haverton Hall.
But now, even though she hadn’t eaten any breakfast and she knew that she ought to be hungry, the only hunger she had was the never-ending hunger for Ran’s love. And, as he had made more than plain to her, that was something she could never have.
Half an hour later she was just on her way downstairs, intending to drive over to Haverton, when her mobile rang. Answering it, she was surprised to hear Lloyd’s voice on the other end of the line.
‘Lloyd. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today. I thought you’d be...otherwise engaged,’ Sylvie told him tactfully.
‘Well, I guess I thought I would be too,’ she heard Lloyd responding with a rueful note in his voice. ‘Like they say, though, there’s no fool like an old fool. Still, it was fun while it lasted, and I guess I had my money’s worth.’
From the tone of his voice Sylvie immediately recognised that Lloyd had quickly become disillusioned with Vicky.
‘I’m going to miss you, hon, when I’m back in New York,’ Lloyd told her with the warm affection that was so much a part of his personality.
‘I’ll miss you as well,’ Sylvie told him gravely, and meant it. ‘Lloyd, I need to talk to you,’ she added quietly. ‘There’s...there’s... I can’t stay here... I...I want to come back to New York...’
Biting down hard on her bottom lip, Sylvie willed herself not to lose control. Lloyd would wonder what on earth was the matter with her. She hadn’t intended to blurt it all out like that. She had told herself that she would wait, assemble all her arguments and then talk to him calmly and quietly, and yet here she was, letting her emotions run away with her, giving in to the urgent need she felt to protect herself from the pain that being so physically close to Ran was causing her.
‘Say, honey, you sound upset. What’s wrong?’ she heard Lloyd asking her anxiously.
‘I can’t discuss it over the phone,’ Sylvie told him. ‘I need to see you... Oh, Lloyd, I’m so sorry...’ She gulped as she heard her voice thickening with tears.
‘Don’t be,’ she heard Lloyd telling her gently, and then, to her relief, he said, ‘I’ll be there with you just as soon as I can fix up everything down here and then we can talk.’
‘Oh, Lloyd,’ Sylvie wept.
How typical it was of Lloyd that he should put everything else on hold to come and see her, Sylvie acknowledged after their call had ended. He would understand, she knew he would, but she still felt guilty about letting him down.
The door to Ran’s study was open and Ran himself entered the hallway just as she was about to cross it. As he glanced at the mobile she was still holding in her hand, Sylvie realised that he must have overheard her talking to Lloyd.
‘Lloyd’s coming back,’ she told him huskily.
‘Yes, so I gathered,’ she heard him responding flatly, with something that almost sounded like anger hardening his voice. Sylvie couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Already the tenderness they had shared last night felt as though it was all something she herself had imagined, created out of her own need; it had gone.