I pushed myself to my feet and hobbled to the bathroom. I’d soon be able to move faster, but it took a while to get moving in the mornings.
“You won’t be able to stay here.” Maria was watching me move as I came back into the bedroom and reached for my clothes. “Your back, it is not strong.”
“I think you’re right.” I sighed. “I’m sorry, though.”
“It is good.” Maria tossed off the thought of managing alone until someone else turned up. “It is not for everyone, this work.”
She came up to me and poked her finger into my chest. “You are a good person. You work hard and do your best. You deserve good things.”
I smiled through a mist. Maria was a diamond. I was glad I’d met her, her confidence in me made me feel better.
“Thanks Maria. But we’d better get on with getting everyone up.”
* * *
The day drudged along like the others. At ten, I went to get the bread again.
“But it’s your turn, Maria.”
She shook her head at me. “You need to walk, stretch that back.” She smiled. “I will go in the garden this afternoon. It is okay.”
I didn’t argue, and felt better as I left the big old house. I walked up the street towards the other end, glad that it was right at the end. I needed to stretch my legs. I noticed a man leaning against a wall by the bus stop. That was strange. Most of the buses went straight along at the top, and there was only one an hour that came down Raven Street. He looked fit enough to walk. Still, none of my business.
I wondered if Paul might try and call, as it was the same time as yesterday. I didn’t have any credit, so I’d have to wait on him.
I took my time, and then I saw the bus stop man walking briskly past me on the other side of the street. He’d obviously decided not to wait.
At the end, I turned right and went into the baker’s. Meg greeted me cheerfully and had the discounted day-old loaves ready.
“Thanks.” I paid for them and carefully slotted the four into the bag. I straightened up painfully, wishing I could afford both the time and the money to see a physical therapist. Meg watched me sympathetically.
“You’re gonna ruin your back if you stay there any longer. You know that.”
I nodded. “I know. I don’t know how Maria has been there so long.”
“She has a strong back and a good lifting method.” She put her hands on her hips and gave me a stern look. “You mustn’t worry about them. There’s never a problem about finding someone else to work there.”
I felt sad. But it was good advice.
“Thanks, Meg. I’d miss you all though.”
“And we’ll miss you, honey. But you gotta do what’s right for you.”
“I know.” I turned to go, and cannoned into a man standing close behind me.
“Sorry.” My legs turned to mush. “James!”
His hand shot out to support me. I didn’t know whether to throw myself in his arms or slap his face, and his expression told me he wasn’t sure what I’d do either.
But it was the way he looked that stopped me dead. He looked awful. Gaunt, he couldn’t have eaten for days, his pallor and the deep lines etched around his eyes told me what he’d been through. A pang shot through me, and then anger.
“Let go of me!” I wrenched my arm from his grasp. I turned to go out of the shop, knowing he’d follow me.
“Toni!” Meg called urgently after me. “You all right honey? D’you need Marshall to walk back with you?” She gave James a look of deep loathing.
I smiled at her. “No. Thanks for looking out for me, Meg. I can sort this.”
Meg nodded, her eyes narrowed in suspicion at James. I tried not to laugh. I reminded myself I was angry with him. As I left the shop and turned left again, he caught up with me.
“Toni. Please talk to me.”
I walked on, turned left into Raven Street again. There was the Lodge, tiny-looking from here, right at the end. Here was James, also needing me. I stopped, and sighed.
“Do we have anything to say to each other, James?”
His jaw was tight. “I think we do. I have an apology for you, and you might have something to say to me. And judging by what I heard you saying back there, you might need to see a doctor and leave that job. Permanent back pain is not the way to live the rest of your life.”
He was right, but I didn’t have to like him barging in and saying it.
“And they need the bread for their lunch and someone to feed them.”
He sighed. “You take responsibility for everyone, don’t you, Toni?” Reaching for his notecase, he peeled off two fifty dollar bills.