Pawn of the Billionaire(59)

The sudden ringtone startled me. I fumbled with the phone. Paul’s number. “Sorry. Sorry. I ran out of credit.”

“That’s okay. At least I could call you back.” His voice was relieved.

“Look around you, Toni. Tell me the name of the street you’re on. See if there’s a cafe or somewhere you can wait.”

It felt good in a way that he was taking the decisions for me. With a pang, I wished it was James on the other end of the line.

“Toni. Tell me the name of the street.”

I looked around. An anonymous street, in an anonymous city. I took a deep breath. “Raven Street.”

“Raven Street,” he repeated. “Where’s that, Toni? And is there a cafe where you can wait?”

“No. No cafe. It’s just houses. I’m going to the baker’s in the next street.” I began walking, remembering I’d been sent to buy bread for the lunches.

“I have to go. Or they won’t get their food.”

“Who’re you talking about, Toni? Who won’t have their food?”

I suddenly realized what I’d done and felt as if I was letting them down, thinking of leaving. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter.” I hung up while he was still speaking, and hurried around to the baker’s, looking around, almost scared he was there already.



* * *



The phone call had been a mistake. I knew that as I sat, softening the bread in the soup, before spooning it into Jackson’s slack mouth. If I had to stay here, then I mustn’t think of being back with anyone I knew from my days with James. The afternoon slogged past, and by six in the evening the last of the toiletings were done and all nineteen of them were in bed, cramped three or four to a room. I shook my head in sorrow at their misery and at my inability to help them, and dragged my way to the attic room that Maria and I shared. Tired. So very tired. Would it be so wrong to use the card? I could get a bus to the other end of the city, use the ATM and then get out of there. I could rent a nice place, somewhere I could sleep without my back hurting more than it did in the daytime. But I’d already said Raven Street. I couldn’t let them trace what city I was in from using the bank card.

I lay staring at the ceiling. James. Each night I lay here, I thought of James. Each night it hurt, didn’t get any easier. I didn’t know how I could live without him. But I couldn’t be with him. Not only had he been going to send me away, he’d lied and betrayed me. Used me. I should hate him, despise him. But I loved him, loved him enough to blame myself for being so gullible. Blamed myself for being the sort of girl he could manipulate and then send away.

Why had I fallen for it? It was because he’d promised to help me with my app. And he had, I told myself. He’d kept his part of the bargain there.

So what part of his bargain had he broken? He’d promised to get my app developed — and that was happening. He’d promised to make me a Countess, the wife of a future Earl. And that, he was going to do. He’d deceived me by letting me believe that would mean marrying him, but thinking back, he’d never said so, never encouraged me to research the family. I could feel tears seeping. I didn’t try and wipe them away, but I tried not to make a noise. I didn’t want Maria to know. She often cried in her sleep, but we never talked about it. Whatever tragedies had brought us to sleeping in the same room in this dirty attic room, we didn’t share them.

I remembered that last morning together. James had been gentleness itself. He’d showed me how he cared. At least I thought he had. Was he a good actor? Did he care and was still going to send me away, because of his sense of family duty? How could I let him do that to me? I shifted uncomfortably on the lumpy mattress and tried to stop thinking about James. Maria was snoring. I shut my eyes, thought of him. Pictured him in my mind, his lean features, his eyes warm and dark as he looked at me as if I was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. I felt my body heat with need for him, and I pressed my thighs together. I couldn’t bear the thought that I might never see him again, never feel his cock sliding deep within me, filling me, drawing me to unimaginable heights.





Toni





My eyes felt glued together as Maria called my name.

“Come on, Toni, it’s time to get up.”

I groaned and rolled over, stiff and aching. Another day at the Lodge. Day eight. Or was it nine? They were blurring into one another. I didn’t even know what day of the week it was. They were all the same.

I pushed myself to sit on the side of the bed, and tried to stretch out the kinks in my back. How I longed for the deep, warm sheets and comforter at James’. No. I pushed the thought away. This was my life now. But I couldn’t stay here. And if I was going to improve my life, I had to use my identity. And that meant facing James. I had to do it soon, before my back gave out. Maria was bent over the basin, a trickle of cold water running.