“Edward!” Terence sounded even more annoyed. “Come on, mate, get your shit together. We’ve got a plane to catch.”
“A plane?” I stared hard, waiting until Terence turned into one guy again, instead of the two who’d been blurring in my vision.
“Yes, you crack-head! Plane. We’ve been given tickets out to the Philippines for a couple of months. It’ll be warm. Warm and cheap and women.” Terence hauled me to my feet. “Come on, we’ve got to get out of here.”
Well, I didn’t mind the Philippines. The living was easy and relaxed and I’d be away from all the pressure and the expectations. Good. I sat on the edge of the bed and fished around with my feet for my shoes. Then I patted my pocket to check my wallet was still there. Good. Terence was a good mate, watched over me, and God knew, I needed that.
I shook my head again to clear it and stood up. Terence and three of the other guys were there.
“We’ve called a cab.” Steven spoke to Terence. “Has he got money?”
“Yep.” Terence glanced over at me. “You’ve still got your wallet, haven’t you, Edward?”
I nodded. I knew full well the other guys only tolerated me because Terence insisted - and because I often had the means to pay when they’d spent all their money on drugs. Still, they were all the friends I had.
I looked over at the bed. She was lying on her back, naked, the sheet only covering her lower body. She was flat out and snoring. I didn’t have the faintest idea who she was. I shrugged and turned away.
At the airport, the attendants looked disapprovingly at us. But the searches came up clear and we boarded just in time. I stared out of the window and shivered. My mouth tasted vile and I had no toiletries with me. I rubbed my face, and felt the tangle of a week’s worth of beard growth. Fuck! I must look a sight. I leaned my head back, and was asleep.
* * *
Terence shook me when we came into land. I looked down.
“Where the hell are we?”
“Turkey.” His voice was terse. “Connecting flight here.” He pulled me to my feet, and we made our weary way to the ground. The airport was grey and miserable-looking. I was getting used to seeing guards with guns. These days they were common even in British airports. I stood idly by while Terence and Steve argued at the check-in desk. Then they joined the rest of the group.
“Come over here, Edward!” Terence called impatiently, and I pulled myself together and wandered over to them.
“Look, we missed the connecting flight and there isn’t another direct one until Wednesday from here. Some stupid local holiday.” He looked challengingly at us. “But we can use these tickets on another flight out of Macedonia tomorrow lunchtime. So I’ve reserved us seats, and we’ll get a car to take us across the border, okay?”
That was okay, of course it was. None of us had any inclination to do any thinking, so we wound our way to the car rental place. The atmosphere was tired and uncaring. The tide of recent refugees had made us unremarkable, and it was the end of a long shift. I suspected that got us waved through the border without being checked.
So I didn’t discover that my wallet was missing until we returned the car at the airport. Terence swore blue, and the other guys looked at me, hostile.
“You must’ve had it nicked after we landed, because you had your passport then, you absolute fucking idiot!” Terence was giving me a headache, I thought vaguely.
All right, he’d been a good mate since we were at school, but I’d always paid for everything, and his language was a bit uncalled for. I felt aggrieved.
I tried to keep my dignity. “It’s quite all right.” I reached into the hidden hole in the lining of my jacket. Wriggling my finger in, I was able to extract the tightly folded notes. “Look, I always carry spare money.”
“Thank God for that!” Terence took it and unfolded the notes. “At least we put the car on your credit card. So we can use some of this to buy you a fake passport.” He poked a finger in my chest. “You stay here with Steve, you idiot. I’ll have to go to the refugee hangout, see what I can get.”
I nodded. I didn’t want to get turned away from the plane, be left here alone without the means to get home. I wondered what I’d done to get friends like this, friends that even I knew were only tolerating me while I could pay for what they wanted.
I couldn’t see that I was worth having as a real friend, and I needed these people more than they needed me. And they knew it. I felt very alone. I wondered if I’d ever have the strength to change things, live again like I had as a child, the secure childhood with loving family and the staff to do everything that was needed.