She winced. Jaxon had shown her strength in submission, but Nick gave her the impression that he considered her to be a mindless drone because of it and preferred her that way. “Why not just leak the tape to the police?”
A tick pulsed in his jaw. “And go down for obstruction of justice? Joseph would turn on me before they slammed shut his jail cell door. Even if they didn’t prosecute, the accusation alone would ruin my career. Besides, prison was too good for that bastard. He needed to pay.”
“So you decided to set him up for another murder? Why Alyssa? If you loved her how could you kill her?”
“I thought you understood!” He shook his head violently. “Alyssa wanted to die but she was too scared to do it on her own. She needed me to do it for her.”
“Did she ask you? When you tortured her that last time, did she know she was going to die?”
“She didn’t have to ask me. I was her Master. I knew what she needed better than she did. What you consider torture, she considered ecstasy. It was a beautiful death.”
Nick was sicker than she’d realized. He didn’t even understand right from wrong.
“So you decided to kill Joseph and use me as your weapon.”
He smiled again and dragged his bloody hand down his face. “The morning you searched his office, I called him pretending I was from security and let him know someone had broken in. Then I waited until the time was right to shoot him. You’re brilliant. I knew you’d figure out a way to trace the e-mails I’d sent from Joseph’s computer and my hacking into your Facebook page.”
Brilliant? She’d slept in the same bed as a sociopath. Trusted him with her career. With her life. How brilliant could she be?
Anger flooded her, making her skin feel itchy and hot. It nauseated her that he couldn’t see all the harm he’d caused. “You ruined Jaxon’s life. He lost his wife, his career, everything because of you.”
“I never intended for him to be a suspect. He was supposed to be out of town. I didn’t know he’d come home early. I’d always planned for you to go to Benediction with him to find the killer, but Jaxon being a suspect made it that much easier to convince you. Then when I discovered that he’d lied about his alibi, I knew it would change how you felt about him.” He cupped her cheek with his injured palm. “Don’t you see? I love you.”
She shrugged him off. “You manipulated me. I almost died because of your need for revenge. Hannah was stabbed.”
“I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake I’d made with Stephanie. That’s why I made sure you were never alone. I called you and warned you off the case. You needed me to protect you. To comfort you. And I did. The night you slept in my arms on your couch was one of the happiest moments of my life. It felt right, didn’t it? I didn’t want you spending any more time with Jaxon than necessary, but I wasn’t worried. Not at first. After all, you were in love with me, and the man had just lost his wife. I never thought it would go further than training and maybe some casual fucking. I should’ve realized you might fall for his dominance. I had to show you he wasn’t whom he’d pretended to be. So I called the police and tipped them off to Bethany Gold. And now he’s gone to Aruba where he’ll forget all about you. But you don’t need him anymore. You have me now.”
She wrapped her hand around her back to grip the gun. “You think I need you? You used me as bait knowing Joseph would try to kill me. I saw his car when I visited Martha Webber. He was following me, and if you were following me as well, you knew my life was in danger. Hannah almost died.”
“You didn’t obey! That wasn’t my fault!” His skin went from red to purple and the cords of his neck strained against the white collar of his shirt. He sliced the flesh between his thumb and pointer finger, over and over, as he picked up his pacing again. “You were supposed to stay at your apartment and wait for Jaxon to take you to Benediction. You’re submissive. That means you fucking obey your Master! Me! The man who loves you! Tell me you love me! That you understand why I did everything.”
Blood spilled down his fingers, the cuts shallow but numerous. She had a feeling if she didn’t talk him down from this rampage, he’d kill her. She could end this now. Take out the gun and hold him at gunpoint while she called the police. But what if he forced her hand? What if she had to shoot him? Could she do it?
She’d frozen the last time she’d held the gun in her hands. What if it happened again?
“Nick, I’m not in love with you. You were everything I wanted to be. The high-powered attorney who still took time to help the underdog. A star in the courtroom. You warned me to always put myself first and that’s what you did. What you do. But I’m not like you.”