The real world was not a movie. In the real world, the monsters didn’t shamble around trying to eat you; they howled with laughter while they pressed a hot iron into your face. Wade didn’t know if he was infected. If there was any chance he wasn’t, he didn’t want to be tossed out on the street to face those things alone. And if he was, he wasn’t sure he could handle being rejected and tossed out by the group. He needed them in more ways than one.
Still, he owed them the truth. If there was any chance he could be a danger to them, they should know about it. The need to come clean felt like a crushing weight.
Wade found Rawlings standing in front of one of the big picture windows overlooking the crowds boiling in the stadium.
She greeted him with a nod before returning to the view. “I was just thinking about human nature, Wade.”
“What about it?”
“Cooperate versus compete. When the shit hits the fan, most people try to do the right thing. Then some assholes go and ruin it for everybody. See those guys?” She pointed at a gang of teenagers at the eastern edge of the playing field.
He nodded. “Yeah. What about them?”
“At least once a day, they drag some girl under the stands.”
Wade frowned with disgust. “We should—”
“There isn’t a damn thing we can do about it.”
“Well,” he said. He didn’t know what to say.
“More people come in every day. Nowhere out there is safe now.”
Wade asked, “It’s safe in here?”
She offered up a grim smile. “You’re a quick study, Private Wade.”
They stood in silence for a few moments, watching the crowd. A boom box down in the camp played a rap song that pounded the air with its bass line. Wade shook his head at the stupidity. If he could hear the music up here, the Klowns could hear it out there.
After a while, Rawlings nudged him and swept her arm across the view. “One day, my son, all this will be yours.”
He smiled at her humor. Rawlings was like no other woman he’d ever known, the polar opposite of the girls back in high school, who were so insecure yet so full of themselves. With Rawlings, what you saw was what you got. He really liked her.
One more reason to come clean.
But all the more reason to fear her loathing and rejection.
“Why don’t we leave?” he asked. “It seems to me we’re sitting ducks here.”
“We’re healing, Wade. We need every minute of rest to get our fighting spirit back. Without it, we won’t last five minutes on the street. We’ll be dead meat out there.”
“We can do it,” he assured her.
“What about the other twenty guys here who are still too messed up to wipe their own asses? We need to give them every chance to come around and step up. I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell am not super excited about leaving them behind to get chopped up.”
Wade nodded. She was right. But at some point, they were going to have to make a tough decision if they wanted to survive.
“You’re cutting it awfully close,” he said. If it wasn’t too late already.
“I know. I just don’t want to leave them.” She winced. “And maybe I’m a little scared, okay?”
Wade hated seeing her forced to admit that. Of course she was scared. They were all scared. They were terrified. He wanted to put his arm around her and comfort her. He patted her shoulder instead. “It’s going to be all right.”
“I grew up here. Bean Town is my home. It’s all going up in smoke. History itself. All those people…” Rawlings wiped her eyes and set her jaw. “I’ll face it when I’m ready.”
“And then what? What’s the plan?”
“You know the egress routes and the rally point. Assuming we get out of the building alive, we strike west. Travel only at night. Cross the river. Then north all the way to Hanscom.”
“You’re coming with us?”
“Camp Edwards is too far away. Think they’ll let me join your club?”
“We’ll make a mountaineer out of you in no time, Sergeant.”
“Once you’re back with the Tenth, I’ll be just another Nasty Girl to you hotshots.”
Wade smiled. “Not a chance.”
“I can’t stay with you boys anyway. I’ll find a Guard unit after we get to Hanscom. Gotta get back to my Bay Staters. No offense or anything to you mountaineers.”
“Hanscom’s pretty far too. Twenty klicks at least.”
“Then I hope you know how to hotwire a car,” she said brightly. “The only other option is to head downtown toward the sound of gunfire and hope the people doing the firing is a Guard unit.”