He nodded. “See you.”
I walked away, even though it was the most painful thing I had ever done in my life.
He stood there for a second and then got back into the car. It pulled away.
I felt like a piece of me pulled away with that car.
I knew he was going to leave eventually. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, that he’d pay me my money and we’d be finished. After all, I was never really his wife.
He was married to his job. He wanted to get back into combat, and in order to do that he had to go to Los Angeles. He had to follow through with his promises, play the good soldier, and maybe he’d get rewarded.
There wasn’t any room for me in his plan. I was just a tool after all.
A minute later, I turned and walked away.
I gathered my ticket, got in line at security, and then flew home.
32
Nash
One Week Later
Los Angeles was a fucking shit hole.
I leaned back in my chair, on my third whisky, staring out across the buildings. I was sitting out on the balcony of my hotel room suite, and nothing felt fucking right.
Liv wasn’t kidding when she said my job was going to be sitting around watching. They didn’t give a fuck about my opinion at all. They had plenty of other consultants and writers and contractors, each with their own agenda, and I was just another face in the sea. Sure, it was my fucking story they were trying to tell, but what the fuck did they care about that?
And so I sat there all day long, collecting my check, because that was my mission.
My fucking mission. Livy assured me that my publishers were happy, but we both knew the fucking truth. My “publisher” was my fucking commanding officer, and this whole thing was just one bullshit ruse to create another propaganda tool for the government.
They were using me, using my story, to make themselves look good. I knew it and they knew it. Honestly, they weren’t really trying very hard to hide that fact. I was just a pawn in their little fucking game, but there I was, playing along.
Because I was a Navy SEAL, even if my mission was domestic. I didn’t go against orders. I went to L.A. because that was what my superiors wanted me to do.
I didn’t go with Selena because it was my fucking job to go to L.A.
I took a long swig of whisky, trying not to think about her. I hadn’t spoken to her since the airport, and the look of despair and sadness on her face had damn near fucking broken me.
I’d wanted to go with her. I’d wanted it so badly, but I had this fucking obligation, had to follow orders. If I wanted to go back into combat, I had to do what they asked.
I finished off my drink and filled up another. I sighed, looking out across the city, hating it. I hated L.A., how fake it was, how fake the people were. Hollywood was about the worst place in the fucking world as far as I was concerned, and I had spent time in some seriously fucked-up and dangerous places.
I knew what the real problem was. It wasn’t the city; the city was fucking fine. It was something else, and I was trying not to say it out loud.
“Nash.”
I turned around, surprised. “The fuck?”
Liv stood leaning against the doorway. “How’s it going?”
“How the fuck did you get in here?”
She grinned at me. “Pour me a drink.”
I eyed her for a second and then poured her a drink. I handed her the glass and she knocked it back. “Another.”
I grinned, pouring another. She took it and sipped.
“Why are you here, Liv?”
“We need to talk.” She sat down in the chair next to me. She looked different, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. And then it hit me: I’d never seen her wearing jean shorts and a T-shirt before. Or drink, for that matter, or really talk to me like a human fucking being.
“What can I do for you?” I asked, curious.
“Do you like it here?”
I grunted. “It’s fine.”
She smiled. “Come on, Nash, you hate it here. Just admit it.”
“Fine. It’s fucking awful.” I shrugged. “What’s it matter? You never cared before.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“What changed?”
She looked at me for a second. “Do you know who I am?” she asked.
I cocked my head to one side. “My fucking publicist. And a major weirdo. What’s going on?”
She laughed softly. “You really haven’t figured it out?”
“You’re starting to annoy me, Liv.”
“Okay, I’ll spell it out. My full name is Lieutenant Livy Green, SEAL Team Ten leader.”
I gaped at her, shocked. There was no fucking way. “You’re special forces?”
“You got me.” She spread her hands and grinned at me. “Apparently better than you.”