Package Deal(79)
Amanda’s face burned as she imagined her mother tut-tutting with lips pursed accusingly. “You do, too, know where she gets that language. From Brittany.” She turned off the stove when the tea kettle began to sing. “I’m sure that’s where Sam gets her ideas. And you don’t have to tell me what’s important, Mother. What do you think I’ve been doing, ever since Cecelia’s birth?”
“You’ve been trying to make a life for her. I know that. That’s why you broke down and got that dog. I thought you were making a big mistake there, too, except he is cute. Thank God he was already housebroken. I have no idea how you could have taken care of that animal, too, with your busy schedule.Anyway, Cecelia deserves to have a father, but not just any old person who’s willing to read her stories. She told me he does that, or used to.”
Marcus is more than that to Cecelia.“He gets along well with her.” I know he cares for her.
“But she doesn’t like him anymore. She told me that, too,” her mother continued.
Amanda sucked in her lower lip to prevent herself from snapping at her mother. Quietly, apprehensive of what her mother might say, she asked, “What else did Cecelia say?”
“She said he made you cry. That’s why she doesn’t like him anymore. I know you, Amanda. You always fall for the handsome ones. They are so shallow, thinking all they have to do is crook their little finger and any girl they want comes running.I have to admit I thought Dylan had a future—if he’d gone into law or medicine, like he planned—before the Army got him. Why don’t you find a man who’s happy just to make a living—so you can stay home and take care of Cece and maybe have more babies? He doesn’t have to be the best-looking man on the block. And you can always do your writing at home if you insist on your own career.”
“And if I did that, what a perfect excuse for you to accuse me of wasting my education!” Amanda shot back. “How many times have you said that, Mother—before and after Dylan, after Cecelia’s birth, even after I got my degree? You like to refer to me as ‘my daughter the doctor, my daughter the professor,’ to your friends, but you have never once said you’re proud of me—for anything I’ve done since—since Dylan died. Are you jealous of my accomplishments? Is that why you didn’t want me to go back to school after Cecelia was born … after she was old enough that I could leave her for a few hours a day to make a future for myself, and for her?”
“Amanda Jane, since when do you question my motives? I’ve never wanted anything but the best for you! You were the one who insisted on getting your doctorate—and limiting the number of men who would want to—to—to get close to you. I told you that would happen, didn’t I? How often have you gone out since you went back to grad school? Three, four times? And those men were all church-mouse poor, just like you. And what about since you went out west? Is this Marcus fellow the only person you’ve dated in that little town? Cecelia told me about the first time you went out with him—”
Her eyes were filling, her throat burning, wanting to ask what else Cecelia had said. But her mother anticipated her question.
“She said she told you no kisses on the first date. I’ll bet you did anyway. And when Cece took me to walk on campus with her the other day—to the soccer field—she and Sam pointed out that other man, the very tall one in your department, Ethan or Alvin or Edward something-or-other. You should have seen the college girls ogling him when he walked by. I’m surprised you didn’t go after him. He reminded me so much of Dylan with his blond hair and good looks—”
Amanda brushed a hand across her face. “Mother, stop! I’m not interested in Evan Workman. I’m just trying …” she gulped, “I’m just trying to make a secure life for Cece—”
“Then do that. She needs a father. Find someone who’s not afraid of gaining a ready-made family.Those handsome ones are always too much into their own needs. They never think of others. And if he can’t even tell you he loves you, then—well, then that Marcus fellow isn’t the one for you!”
At the sound of the dial tone, Amanda managed to put the phone back in its cradle before she broke down and let her tears fall unheeded onto the kitchen table.
Two days after arriving home from the workshop, Marcus finished his report to the granting agency, and stacked his proposal for next year on his desk.He grinned as he thought back on how well the workshop had been received. He tossed his clothes in the washing machine and walked into the kitchen, aware that he needed groceries. What was Amanda doing this week? Still showing her mother around? Or had the woman left already? He wanted to call, but did not want to interfere in what he knew to be a touchy relationship between Amanda and her mother. The lone apple in the refrigerator next to a box containing two dried-up pieces of pizza reflected his mood.He didn’t want to be alone, but he couldn’t get past the fact that the situation was far from resolved with Cecelia.