Package Deal(45)
Amanda blinked. “I’m not going home. It’s because I left her that this happened. I’m not leaving.” She looked around, her hands shaking. She pointed to the small sofa where she and Marcus had been sitting. “I’ll stay right here if I have to—until she comes out of recovery.” Then, her voice quieter, “right here.”
Marcus looked at the doctor. “I’ll make sure she gets home.”
The surgeon nodded and walked away.
“No, Marcus. I’m—not—leaving.” She sat down and crossed her arms, her intent obvious.
He sat down and put an arm around her shoulders. “Amanda, the doctor said—”
She shook her head and closed her eyes against his entreaty. “No. I’m staying.” Her jaw worked.
Shortly thereafter, a nurse approached the two of them. “Mrs. Gardner?”
Amanda stood up. “Yes? Can I see her now?”
“Not yet. But I’ve brought you a blanket and a pillow—in case you want to lie down. It could be some time before she’s out of recovery.”
Marcus sighed. “Thank you.”
Amanda slumped back down onto the sofa, her shoulders bowed, feeling the weight of her guilt at having left Cecelia alone when she should have stayed home or asked her neighbor to come over. She should have waited until Marcus arrived before going to the store.
Marcus took the blanket and pillow from the nurse. “You heard what the nurse said, Amanda. It could be hours—a long time. Why don’t you rest?”
She shook her head and began to weep, keening her despair that she had failed to protect her child. She couldn’t seem to make sense of her own thoughts as the image of her precious daughter lying in the road, like a crumpled and discarded doll, kept coming back to her.
Marcus gathered her in his arms and rocked her, using his arms and voice to soothe her until she finally quieted. He sat her down and when she closed her eyes and leaned back into the couch, he slid her down and covered her completely with the blanket.
“You rest.” He kissed her forehead. “The nurse will come get you the minute you can be with her.”
She nodded, unable to lift her head, unable to open her eyes, feeling numb, wanting only to turn back the clock to the morning, when the sun’s rays had wakened her and she and Cecelia had been looking forward to a relaxed weekend at home, together with Marcus. If only I hadn’t left …
Marcus sat down on a nearby chair. Later that night, he, too, fell asleep. The nurses who walked by did not disturb them.
Sometime before sunrise, Amanda roused when someone touched her hand. She looked up at the doctor. She reached over and shook Marcus’ shoulder.
She coughed. “Yes, Doctor. May I see my daughter?”
“She not awake yet, but we just moved her out of recovery and into a regular room. The swelling we were worried about yesterday has gone down. We’re going to reduce the sedation gradually. Children do better when their parents are with them when they wake up.”
She stood up. “Take me to her.”
Marcus stood, picked up Amanda’s purse, and followed her down a long hall and around the corner into Cecelia’s room.
Chapter 9
Amanda reached for Marcus’s hand as they approached the door of Cecelia’s room.He squeezed her fingers for encouragement and smiled at her, his hair bunched comically on one side of his head, his eyes still bleary from lack of sleep. Did I sleep, too? When?
When the doctor opened the door for her, she bit her lip, afraid of what she might see, afraid not to see her precious baby. Amanda stepped into the room. Cecelia looked too tiny for the bed, her blond hair peeking out from a bandage around her head. All Amanda could think was, what have I done to her? Elevated casts on Cecelia’s left leg and left arm made her appear like part of the machinery. Monitors beeped and flashed next to her bed.
Amanda reached for her daughter’s right arm and clung to it as if to a life raft. She kissed it and her tears soaked into the blanket. “Cece. I’m here, darling. Please wake up.”
Marcus stood behind Amanda and rested his hands on her shoulders, as if willing strength into her.
“Mrs. Gardner?”
Amanda looked up at the doctor, tears streaking her cheeks.
The physician smiled at her. “Cecelia’s not out of the woods yet, but I’m hopeful.”
Amanda nodded, still clinging to Cecelia’s hand. “Tell me.”
“You know about the broken bones. Children are remarkable for how quickly their bones heal.”
“What about her head injury?” Marcus asked.
Why didn’t I think of that? Did he mention that before? I need to know—I have to know.