Pacific Northwest Werebears(99)

Cage stepped closer to Conner and put a hand on his shoulder. He leaned over so they were eye to eye. “You will never, ever find anyone for you more perfect than her. And I know you think you are punishing yourself for whatever shortcomings you think you have. But for every time you deny your animal. You are denying Mackenzie too,” he said, quietly to his brother. He didn’t use his Alpha voice; this needed to come from one brother to another.

Stepping up behind Cage, Wyatt offered, “You’d do anything to keep her safe. Make sure she was happy and healthy. If you send her away she will never be any of those things again. She will be miserable. You won’t be there to protect her. She’ll never find another to love.”

“Punish yourself however you want. But don’t punish her,” Cage offered.

“It’s cruel,” Wyatt added.

Both brothers looked at Conner, then turned to walk back to their own homes.

Conner was trying to not let their words sink in. Wyatt’s parting shot in particular. ‘It’s cruel.’ He’d always thought of himself as a surly kind of guy. But never cruel, not intentionally. But the truth of it was there, hanging in the air.

Any pain Mackenzie was feeling was directly related to him. He’d hurt his own mate. He knew he didn’t deserve her.

*****

Resolved to ask Mackenzie to continue their previous agreement to date, Conner headed to his mom’s for breakfast the next morning to catch Kenzi. He was going to offer to take her up to a replanting, to try and make amends for his behavior the previous night. He still didn’t think he could bond with her, but maybe he could make her happy in other ways. It wasn’t a stellar plan, and he hadn’t worked out any details, but Conner was at least going to try. His bear was more than happy that they were going to see her again. He’d voiced his displeasure with the porch conversation loudly most of the night.

Walking through his parents’ door, he saw his mom standing sentry at the stove. Conner took a sniff to see what was cooking and noticed something missing. He sniffed again, searching.

“She’s not here,” his mom said to the pan, not looking at him.

“Where did she go? Base camp,” Conner asked, coming closer to the bar.

“No. Your father drove her to the airport this morning for an early flight out,” his mother said, pushing the eggs she was scrambling around in the pan.

Conner felt the world shift under his feet. “She’s gone? She left,” he choked out. His heart felt like a lead weight. She wasn’t there, she’d left him.

“She said she couldn’t stay. That she had to go. Knocked on our door in the middle of the night, sobbing,” his mother added angrily.

Conner sat down on a stool and ran his hands over his head. Did he go after her? If he did, what would he say? Would she come back with him?

“Don’t.” He heard his mother say.

“Don’t what,” he responded.

“Leave her alone. You don’t want her. You’re just tormenting her. She’s a sweet girl and doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. I tried to imagine how I would feel if your father ever rejected me. If he fought every instinct he had to avoid being with me. What would that make me feel like,” she said finally, turning towards her son.

Conner saw tears in his mother’s eyes.

“It would make me feel like shit, Conner Rochon. It would make me feel like my life wasn’t worth living if the one man the fates had destined to be mine rejected me. I’d want to die,” his mother whispered to him.

Fuck him.

“I raised you better, Conner. I really thought I did,” his mother said, her voice catching in her throat. She turned off the stove and walked down the hallway. He heard her bedroom door slam shut.

Fuck him.





Chapter 14




Days passed, then it became weeks. Conner didn’t try to contact Mackenzie and she didn’t reach out to him.

It had been quiet around the work sites. No issues with equipment, no sign of Tony. Cage had given the heads up to Dax in case Tony moved back to California to take up where he left off.

The first few days with Mackenzie gone, Conner tried to tell himself that it was for the best. That she could move on, find someone else. His brothers were supportive, they knew how much he was hurting. If anyone knew, it was them.

His mom didn’t talk to him for a few days, and then even she caved when she saw how miserable her son was. Conner wasn’t looking for their sympathy. In fact he liked it better when they were mad at him. That he could understand, it allowed him to stop the self-flagellation as long as someone else had taken up the whip.

He wasn’t hungry, he wasn’t interested in work. He kept to himself mostly. The wedding was next week and he didn’t want to be the rain on the parade. Spirits were high and they should be, it was a much anticipated event.