His bear’s sense of conviction about her being the bee’s knees, was so crystal clear, Conner envied him.
Even he could see that accepting what his bear wanted, and if he was being honest, what he wanted, was the simplest course of action. Just mate with Kenzi, seal their bond, make cubs and live happily ever after.
But what if they didn’t? What if his inability to find peace with his bear affected their life together? What if he had cubs that struggled like he did? There were no wise words of advice that he could offer up to make their lives better. His shit was so screwed up, he was no one’s role model.
Maybe he was thinking too far into the future. What if he just agreed to, what date? Did shifters do that? It could be a compromise to give him more time, a chance to figure things out. Conner knew deep down it wasn’t the decision his bear was looking for. But at least it was a start.
Although he could feel his bear’s acceptance of their tenuous truce, he still didn’t let Conner shift until morning.
* * * * *
Mackenzie was sitting at the counter, letting Connie dish her up some eggs and bacon, when she heard the front door open. Before she turned, she knew it was him.
“Conner, my baby,” his mother rushed over to him. “Are you okay? Are you still hurt?” She checked him over head to toe.
“Mom, I’m good. All healed up, just took a little time. Was easier to stay shifted and spend the night in the woods,” he explained. Although his eyes couldn’t help but dart to Kenzi to see if his mother knew the truth. Kenzi shook her head, letting him know his secret was safe.
“Mom, do you think I could talk to Kenzi alone,” he asked.
“Of course, dear. I’ll just head over to the base camp and deal with some wedding nonsense with Sophie. There is more food on the stove. I’m sooo glad you are all right,” she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Connie waved to Mackenzie before heading out the door.
Conner stood looking at his mate. She stared back. Neither spoke.
Giving in first, Conner offered, “Hey.”
“Hey back,” she said.
Rubbing his hand around the back of his neck, he looked down to the floor. He was not good at this stuff. Deciding to ease into it, he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He topped off Mackenzie’s, then served himself eggs and bacon from the stove.
Sitting down at the counter next to Kenzi, he started eating.
Kenzi stared at him for a few moments, then turned to her own breakfast. They ate in silence.
Finishing up her meal, she broke the quiet. “I see you were able to shift.”
Conner snorted, “Not until this morning. Spent the whole night in that cave.”
“I bet your bear liked it though,” she said thoughtfully.
“Yeah, he did,” he admitted.
“Thanks for staying with me when I was hurt,” he offered quietly.
“You’re welcome,” she whispered back. “I’ll always be there for you Conner, if you let me.”
She meant that, deep down, soul deep. Her desire to be with him was all her and her cat could think about. She tried to not dwell on the bad talk show-esque feel of ‘I love a man who treats me like crap’. It was there in the background though. That niggling voice of ‘You deserve better. You deserve to be cherished as any mate expects to be’.
But that voice she pushed back, when she remembered she’d told Conner she would be the strong one if he couldn’t. She meant that and she never went back on her word. At least she never had before.
“I think I know that, I want to believe it. But…I’ve never…trusted my instincts. Does that make sense,” he asked quietly.
She could see how hard it was for him to admit that. “I can’t say that I understand Conner, but I’m willing to listen.”
Conner looked into her eyes; he saw she wasn’t looking at him like he was less of a man. She was looking at him with an empathy he really needed right then.
“I can’t make you any promises, Kenzi. I don’t feel like I can give you what you need, what you deserve. But if you feel anything like I do, it hurts too much to be apart. I want you to have everything. I want you to be happy. I hope you can believe me when I say that.”
“How about we make a deal, a compromise. You stop avoiding me, and I’ll lay off the bonding thing for now. Let’s pretend we are just a human couple that met at a bar. We’ll date, watch movies together. But I’ll be honest Conner, I don’t know if I can have sex with you again without biting. I’ve lucked out both times that I couldn’t reach you when I wanted to. I guess you probably on some level made sure of that. But denying my cat hurts me. It’s cruel. So let’s just get to know each other. And see what happens,” she asked hopefully.