No, this wasn’t danger. It was something else. Getting to her feet she scanned the back rows of grapes, then turned in a circle until she was facing the house. A figure was walking down from the large patio, on the back of the house, that ran straight into the rows of grapes.
The sun was glinting off the blond hair, the confident stride of Conner Rochon couldn’t be missed.
“Shit,” she whispered to herself. Every time she felt like she was getting a grip on her life, she was Rochon sucker punched.
As he got closer, Mackenzie started to feel panicked. She couldn’t go through this again. Shaking her head at the approaching figure, she could hear herself mutter, “No, no, no, no….”
When he was twenty feet from her she turned and started quickly walking the other direction, still repeating her chant of “No’s.” She hadn’t realized she’d started crying the moment she recognized who it was. Either out of sadness or happiness she wasn’t sure.
She was coming to the edge of the trellises when she turned and held up her hand. “Stop right there.”
Conner halted dead in his tracks. His hands were at his sides, but were turned up like he was trying to show her he wasn’t packing or something.
“Don’t come any closer,” she called out. “You can’t be here, this is MY home. You don’t belong here. Turn around and just leave,” she all but screamed at him.
The wind was blowing from behind him and his scent was washing over her. Her cat was purring at the smell of pine trees and man that it missed so much.
“I need to talk to you,” he whispered, knowing she could hear him.
“There’s nothing to say,” she whispered back. “I can’t keep doing this Conner, please believe me, I really don’t think I could survive walking away from you again.”
The pain in her voice was raw and it tore at his soul. Slowly he lowered to his knees, keeping his eyes on her. Seeing her tears was ravaging him. He knew he caused them, so he took the hits.
“I just want to talk to you. There are things I need to say,” he said, his voice wavering a bit. His throat was tightening as he thought about how this was his last chance. The only chance he’d have to fix this.
“If you’re here to tell me how we aren’t going to work out and that you don’t want me, save your breath. I’ve gotten that message loud and clear.”
Swallowing the lump in his throat he started with, “I’m sorry, Kenzi. So damn sorry. You do deserve better than me. And lord knows you are way too good for me.”
Mackenzie didn’t say anything, she just wrapped her arms around her body, like she was trying to hold whatever pieces of herself that were left, together.
“I’ve been nothing but bad for you. I’ve hurt you over and over again. My shit with my bear, saying that was what was holding me back was just that, bullshit. My bear wasn’t the one with the problem. It was me realizing I wasn’t giving up control to my bear, I was supposed to be sharing it with him. This whole time we could have been a team and I rejected that, I rejected him. Just like I did with you. I was so wrapped up in my issues that I missed out on the gift that was in front of me.”
“You’ll change your mind. Something will happen and you’ll turn me away again,” she whispered. “I can’t take it, Conner, it’ll kill me.”
Conner dropped his head for a moment, the shame overwhelming. His bear roared at him to cowboy up. Lifting his head he offered her all he had.
“I love you, Mackenzie. I love everything about you. Imagining a life without you is worse than death. You’re beautiful and funny and so goddamn sweet, I can’t believe you even exist. You’re perfect for me, and I promise to spend the rest of my life trying to be perfect for you. I want us to be mates, bonded for eternity.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small black box and opened it and set it on the ground, the giant diamond sparkling in the afternoon sun.
“I want you to marry me, right now, today. Just say yes and I have a plane waiting to fly us to Vegas.”
Kenzi stared down at the ring, it was perfect. Exactly what she would have picked for herself. Platinum with a cushion cut diamond. Simple, but kickass.
“I…I don’t know Conner. I want to believe you,” she said quietly. She’d taken a step forward when he put the ring on the ground. It must have been some instinctual female response to being presented with jewelry. Shiny, pretty.
“If you say no, I’ll go home. I’ll wallow in self-pity and the missed opportunity with you for the rest of my life. But if it’s what’s best for you, I’d do it,” he vowed.