Isabel helped me pick up the scattered letters as Sasha marched away.
“What was that about?” Isabel asked in surprise.
“These are my letters.”
“How’d she get them? Did Cade give them to her?”
My stomach twisted into a knot. I had no idea.
I opened my backpack and started to shove my letters in with his that I kept there. I stopped, gathered both his and mine, and held them out for Isabel. “Will you just take these? Can we have a bonfire at your house after school?”
She gave me a sad smile. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
She opened her backpack and I dropped them all inside. I needed him out of my life once and for all.
Cade was standing by the minivan talking to my mom through the open window when I approached. I felt like I had on the same angry/sad face that Sasha had been wearing earlier.
“Hey, Lily,” Cade said when I opened the side door.
“Hey.” I got in and closed it.
He looked confused. “Well, it was nice talking to you, Mrs. Abbott. Wyatt, I’ll see you Thursday.”
“Okay!” Wyatt said.
Then Cade looked at me. “Truce expired?”
“Yep.” I could do this. I could go back to ignoring him again when all I really wanted to do was ask him if he got in trouble with his parents Friday night after the hotel incident. If his stepdad got kicked out of the golf club. If he was doing okay.
He backed slowly away from the car and my mom rolled up the window as she pulled away.
“I have no idea what you have against that young man, Lil,” Mom said, “but it needs to stop.”
I nodded. “It’s stopped.”
I showed up at Isabel’s house half an hour later. I’d thrown on a black T-shirt to symbolize what, I wasn’t sure. When she opened the door though, her expression was one I didn’t understand—guilt mixed with sadness mixed with something like hope.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“What? Why?” My right eye started to twitch. What was she going to confess to now?
“I read them. I shouldn’t have. They were private. But I did.”
I let out a breath. “Iz, I didn’t know it was him when I was writing them.”
“I know.” She took me by the hand and led me to her room where all my letters were stacked neatly on her desk. “We can’t burn these.”
“What? But I wore black.”
She laughed. “These letters, Lil … It’s no wonder you fell for him.”
“I didn’t … ” I started to protest, but I couldn’t lie. “I know.”
“But he doesn’t know he’s been writing you?”
“No.”
“He thought that was Sasha?” She pointed at the letters.
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Then he’s an idiot. Those sound nothing like Sasha. Those letters are so you. He fell for you.”
A lump formed in my throat. “He didn’t fall for me.”
“It sure seems like he did.”
“Even if that were true, which it’s not, it doesn’t matter. I’m choosing you. I’m choosing us. I wore black.”
She smiled and pulled me into a hug. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“I was always jealous of you and Cade.”
I pushed away from her so I could see her face. “Jealous? Of our fighting?”
“Yes. He’d get more passionate discussing something you did than anything we’d ever done or talked about. I never told you that I always kind of thought you two had a connection you both refused to admit to.”
“Iz.” I could tell what she was doing and I didn’t want her to feel like she had to do this.
“Hear me out.” She picked up the letters and placed them gently into my hands. “I want this for you.”
I smiled. “I love you for that, but he doesn’t want me, he wants her. The girl from in here.” I held up the letters. “Or at least he used to. He stopped writing and I have no idea why. Maybe because he thought she was Sasha. I don’t know.”
“Then tell him you’re her!”
“I’m scared.”
“If you don’t try, you’ll always wonder.”
“Isabel … ”
“Please, Lil.” She looked me in the eye. “I’ve been selfish. I never had him. Never all the way. I tried to blame that on you, but it wasn’t you. It was us. Me and Cade. We weren’t right for each other. But you two … ” She placed her hands on the outside of mine, which were still holding the letters. “You two would … What was that he said in one of the letters? Balance each other perfectly? Something like that? Anyway, I agree with him. You would. You do. Lily, give this a chance.”