P.S. I Like You(57)

My stomach was in knots. Time for a new plan.

Sasha’s backpack sat on the floor by the desk she’d occupied moments ago. If her phone was in there, I was sure she’d make a trade.

She flipped back another page. Like she was reading a picture book to a classroom full of kindergartners, she held it up for all to see again. A sketch of a halfway finished skirt.

I stood. And just as I moved toward her bag, the classroom door swung open and Mr. Mendoza walked in.

“Ladies,” he said, “I’m sure there is a perfectly justifiable reason why you’re out of your seats. But I don’t care. One more day each.”

I could see on Sasha’s face that she wasn’t going to give me back my book. She was already walking to her seat, flipping another page.

“She stole my book,” I said, whipping around to the teacher.

“This is my book,” Sasha said before he responded. She was reading the lyrics now. Her eyes going back and forth along the page. She must’ve come to Cade’s name because she stopped suddenly, her eyes jerking to mine.

“Give Lily her book back,” Mr. Mendoza said sharply. “Now.”

She didn’t listen, but flipped back more. I saw her tilt her head, reading notes I sometimes wrote in the margins of the pages to help me with the lyrics. Was she reading the notes I’d written about Cade’s dad? His home life? My skin froze.

“Sasha,” Mr. Mendoza growled.

Sasha slammed the notebook shut and tossed it toward me. It landed with a smack on the floor next to me. I picked it up and opened it to one of the pages I was sure she had read. And even though there was a big X covering some of the words, most of them were still completely legible. My eyes went over the words. The words about exchanging letters. If only I hadn’t added the unnecessary rant to the end of the lyrics she wouldn’t know who the words were about. But I had and now she knew. And I had no idea what she’d do with that knowledge.





Punching someone on school grounds resulted in immediate suspension. I did not want to get suspended. This was what I told myself as I walked from detention toward the parking lot.

I’d been the first to leave the room and needed to make it home without looking at Sasha or I wouldn’t be able to control my actions. Making it to the parking lot didn’t help because neither my sister nor my mom were there waiting for me today.

I pulled out my phone and texted Ashley. Is someone getting me?

“Lily,” a voice from behind me said. It was Sasha.

I turned quickly to face her. Then I took a step back, but my hands curled into fists. Two very tight fists that were dying to swing. “What?”

“Does he know it’s you?”

My stomach gave a jolt.

So she had pieced everything together. Now I needed to figure out how to answer that question. If I said yes, she would confront Cade. If I said no … what? What would happen? Would she tell him? Keep playing it off like it was her … if that’s what she’d been doing?

I had to make a decision.

“No. He doesn’t.” There was no way I was going to tell her that he thought it was her, though.

Sasha smirked. “I didn’t think so. Lauren said you write and read letters in Chemistry almost every day. She didn’t know who you were exchanging them with.”

So Sasha hadn’t pieced together all the information from just my lyrics. Lauren had told her about my letter-writing habits as well.

“If Cade knew it was you, he’d die,” Sasha went on. “He hates you.”

“I know.” A lump was forming in my throat. I wasn’t sure why. She hadn’t said anything I didn’t already know. Why had my anger turned to this sadness? Why had I gone from wanting to pummel her, to wanting to crawl into bed and never come out?

“If you heard half the stuff he said about you, you wouldn’t have a thing for him,” she went on cruelly.

“I do not have a thing for him. I have a … boyfriend.” That last word came out kind of choked. Mostly because Lucas wasn’t my boyfriend. But I really needed to claim him as such in this moment.

“Those poems told a different story.”

“I don’t have a thing for him.”

“I won’t tell Cade it’s you but you have to stop writing him. We’re together now.”

“I know.”

A horn beeped twice and I looked over hoping to see my sister.

I saw Cade instead.

“There’s my ride,” Sasha said, her smile as smug as her tone.

She must’ve taken one second too long to run to his car because Cade hopped out and headed our way. This was turning from bad to worse.

“Hello, ladies,” he said.