I was halfway down Kami's lawn when I stopped myself. Wait. Where was I going? Home to mope? To cry over the loss of something I never should've wanted anyway? No. Fuck no. It would've been more of a mistake to pour my heart out to him, only to have him fuck and ditch like he did every other girl out there. I wasn't every other girl. I was Paige motherfucking Traynor-Ashcroft, and there was no way I was letting a boy break me again.
Turning on my heel, I marched back into the house, straight for Mike. Because if Dawson wanted to play the field? Fine. I could play that game too. Only I'd do it better.
MY EYES REFOCUSED on the woman standing too close to Dawson and with a hand resting on his arm. Judging by her lips, painted a Taylor Swift shade of red, her dark brown hair in waves around her bare shoulders, and her barely-there mini dress, it looked like not much had changed since our college days-she was still as much of a sex kitten as ever.
My legs took me the few feet to where they were standing, because if my brain had been the one in charge, I would've been gone in a hot second. When I came up behind her, Dawson's eyes flitted up to mine.
"There you are," he said, pulling away from Destiny's grasp.
"Here I am."
Destiny glanced over her shoulder, but when she realized who I was, her eyes grew big and she turned around.
"Paige? Oh wow," she said, pulling me in for an air kiss. "What are you doing here?"
"Same as everyone else. Looking for a … cock to grind on, you could say," I said, throwing his words back in his face.
She laughed, a high, pealing sound. "Oh, Paige. You haven't changed a bit."
"And neither have you," I said, noticing the way she stayed close enough to Dawson to touch.
"Thanks, I try." She ran her hands down the sides of her dress and smiled. "Damn, how long's it been? Sophomore year?"
"Sounds about right." I took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, handed him a twenty, and then downed half of it in one gulp. Fuck me, I never hated on my fellow woman, because Lord knew we needed to stick together, but this was one woman I was content to let fall underneath my damn heel.
"It's like no time's passed at all. And Dawson here … well, I think he might be even handsomer than I remember. Edgier. Sexier … "
As she ran a finger down the side of his face, he chuckled and stopped her wrist. "I don't think that's entirely accurate, but thank you."
"Oh, I think it is. Don't you, Paige?" she said.
Dawson's eyes landed on mine, filled with amusement as he waited for my answer.
I lifted my shoulder like I couldn't care less. "Dawson knows he's gorgeous. That's never been his problem."
"Now that's the first time I've ever heard those words come out of your mouth," he said, grinning at me.
"Guess you'll be filing that one away to use against me later."
"Nah, I'm sure I can pry it out of you again."
After an awkward silence, Destiny cleared her throat, looking between the two of us. "So. Are you two here together, or is this just a happy reunion ?"
Dawson winked at me and then said, "Actually, Paige and I are-"
"Neighbors," I interjected. "Sometimes we get together to blow off steam after a long day, but we're neighbors. Friends."
Dawson's brow puckered, as if he was trying to figure out why I'd done a one-eighty since coming out of the restroom, but if he couldn't put two and two together, then he wasn't as smart as I'd thought.
"Ah, good. So you won't mind me stealing this guy for a little while tonight," she said, sidling up to Dawson, one of her hands running over his chest.
"Mind? Why would I mind? We're all consenting adults around here." I drained the rest of my champagne as a handsome blond across the room inclined his head at me.
Always keep your options open. Wasn't that what Dawson had told me all those years ago, after my first boyfriend had stomped all over my heart? Yeah, well, little did he know it was his motto that had also been the driving force behind the wedge between us, and it seemed tonight was no different.
No problem. Whatever. If he could do that then I could do the same. "If you'll excuse me, I'm being summoned."
I didn't make it halfway into the crowd when Dawson took a hold of my arm and spun me around to face him.
"What the hell is going on with you?" he said.
"Not a thing. Just here to have a gooood time. Same as you, right?"
"I was under the impression we were. What changed?"
"What changed?" Where did I start? "The problem is, nothing has changed. Don't you see that? You will always be who you are, and I'll always be who I am, and those two people will never change. They'll never come together as anything more than the friends they should've been this whole time."
"Hold on, where is this coming from?" He looked over his shoulder at the brunette still watching us. "Is this about Destiny? We haven't seen her in years. What's she got to do with anything?"
"Ah, it doesn't surprise me that you've forgotten there's a history there. Figures."
"What are you talking about? History with who?"
"Hello-the one who was practically mauling you over there. She did the same thing at Kami's party back in college, but you seemed pretty into it then."
Dawson reared back as though he'd been slapped, and I could see the wheels turning as he finally put two and two together. "That's it? Kami's party, the last time you had anything to do with me outside of telling me off every chance you got. That's how this whole thing started, then, huh? The truth finally comes out."
"You knew I had feelings for you. You knew it, and when I came to tell you, you were having … feelings with someone else. So, yeah. That pretty much sums it up."
"Holy shit." He ran his hand through his hair, looking utterly baffled. "First-if I'd thought for one second that you felt anything for me then I would've never touched her. I wouldn't have even been at the fucking party. Second-how was what I did any different from what you were out doing? If I remember correctly, you were the one who went upstairs that night. How did it get turned around that I'm the bad guy?"
"And you're the one who encouraged me to get out there, explore, play the field, and give no fucks."
"Oh, we want to go back to that? To when you came crying to me all brokenhearted because asshole what's-his-name ended things with you? I was trying to help you, Paige. To show you you were worth more than what you thought of yourself at the time."
"Great job with that. I think I turned out pretty fucking amazing."
"Yeah, you've got that act down pat."
I opened my mouth to give him another smartass retort, but the reality was, doing that would only lead us back to where we were all those years ago. And it just wasn't worth it.
"Dawson … I don't want to fight with you."
"Yes, you do. That's all you want with me."
I looked at him, really looked at him, as we stood there in the middle of the dance floor, unmoving in the sea of people. With his hair pulled halfway back and his collared shirt unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up, he really did look like what I'd said earlier-gorgeous. He was a gorgeous man who should be enjoying gorgeous women and living as loud and bold as he wanted to. Hell, the same went for me. We were too young to settle for being a married couple who fought constantly.
"This was fun. Right?" I said. "You and me, arguing all the time, sometimes falling into bed, sometimes throwing dinner at each other. But it's not real. This … married couple thing we've tried on … it's not who we are. What happened was an accident."
"An accident," he repeated.
"Yeah. And I think it would be best if we stopped trying to hold on too tight."
Dawson rubbed a hand over his face. "And how do you suggest we do that? What's the brilliant plan?"
"I spoke with my new lawyer earlier today. He's taking care of helping me buy out my father's claim on my house, which means his little blackmail issue with us is now off the table. I can have Logan draw up the annulment papers for us while he's at it."
Dawson sighed and gripped the back of his neck. "Paige, come on. That's not what you want."
"Isn't it? Isn't it what's best for both of us? Dawson, we can't just change who we are overnight." Or over a couple of off-the-fucking-charts hot nights. "Let's call this what it was. An accident. One that we've let go on for far too long now."
"That's how you really feel?"
"Yes, it's how I feel."
He stared at me and then said, "So we pretend like this never happened? Go back to fake-hating each other?"
"Dawson, I don't hate you. I don't want to go back to whatever it was we did in the past."
"But you don't want to move forward either."
"I'm comfortable with who I am now. It's taken me a long time to get here, and like you've told me before, I should never let someone else have the power to dictate my feelings. This is getting too messy."
Dawson's eyes searched mine, and after minutes passed, he gave a curt nod. "If that's what you want."