"Got a bunch of lovers coming over?" Jackson teases.
"It's Evan."
"That kid from the other night?"
"I figured he could use someone to talk to after that douchebag Peter took advantage of him. He didn't go out much when he was with Peter. I never really saw him around town, unless they were together. I think that asshole kept him kind of sheltered as a way of controlling him. He just needs someone to pull him out of his shell, and I'm just the bottom for the job."
"That's very thoughtful of you."
"I have a feeling he's a good kid. And that's not the story circulating around town, that's for sure. It's gonna take a lot of PR to repair the damage, but he'll survive. He's not the only bottom with a bad reputation in Midtown, but at least I've earned mine."
"A bad reputation sounds kind of good to me," he says, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me to him.
His kiss offers me a moment of ease, but just as quickly, I push away.
"Gross. I'm still all sweaty."
"You're going to be sweaty one way or another, so why not skip a step?"
"You charming motherfucker."
"Thank you for today," he says, more seriously.
"What?"
"It meant a lot that you invited me to come and watch you. And it was great seeing how supportive your friends are."
"Don't I know it? I just … "
He frowns. "What's wrong?"
"It's just something happened during the run. I wanted to tell them about Uncle Randy."
"Why didn't you? Why haven't you?"
"They're good guys, and they always listen. There when I need anything. They've been there for me in the past, and I trust them, but I'm not good with stuff like this."
"Stuff like … ?"
"Opening up."
"You opened up with me."
"You kind of pried me open, but in a good way. A great way, really. But this is just something that's hard for me, and I feel bad that I haven't said anything. I love them, but I don't want them to see Randy like that. Not because I'm embarrassed by him but because I don't want them to know him as anything other than the man who was so amazing to me. I don't want them to see him as someone who's helpless or weak or frail … but then as I think about that, I realize, I don't want them to see me that way either. I don't want anyone to see me that way. At least, I haven't until I met you."
Because he's seen those parts of me that I try to hide from everyone else, and it hasn't made me feel fragile or weak. It's made me feel like I have an ally. Like there's someone on my side.
"You wreck me, Derek." He runs a finger down the side of my face. "In the best possible way. I'm glad you've opened up to me," Jackson says. "And I know your friends would be glad if you opened up with them, too. As much as you play around them, I'm sure they get that there's a real person under all this sass and attitude."
"It's not easy to talk about it sometimes. And I'm so used to having to do things on my own, I guess I just feel like I have to keep on being that way."
"It's hard to take on things by yourself. Trust me on that. I was very lucky to have my ex-wife in my life. She's a good, caring person, and she's been there for me through a lot. There were plenty of times when I felt like I couldn't handle things on my own, and it was nice to have someone by my side, even if there wasn't anything she could do. Like this stuff with my mom. Just having her emotional support is enough. And then knowing that she's there if I need anything, it means a lot."
"I mean, you know I would be happy to step in. I am right there plenty of the time anyway."
"I know that. And I hope you know the same is true about Randy."
"I do."
I really do.
"Well, I'd better shower up," I say, "if you're thinking we're going to do anything."
"I'm not going to let you shower by yourself."
"Oh, really?"
He cocks his brows mischievously. "You could slip and fall."
I laugh. "I'm sure that's what you're concerned about."
"Get in the shower. I'll feed Charlie-boy and meet you in there."
"Thank you," I tell him.
"It's just a little food for a fish."
"That's not all I was thanking you for."
I kiss him before heading into the shower.
When he joins me, he grabs my loofah and runs it in circles around my body until he's behind me, his stiff cock against the small of my back as he washes my torso.
I push against him, and he leans down, kissing my neck before moving up and nipping at my ear.