I guess I'd been so jelly over Evan's shirt that I hadn't noticed his face is bright red, his eyes watering.
Evan wipes at his eyes with the backs of his hands. "Fine." His chin trembles before the tears start up until soon he's sobbing.
Gary and I glance at each other. What the fuck's going on?
"Oh, are we supposed to feel bad for you after you stole Gary's man?" I ask.
"I … didn't … steal … anyone," Evan says between sobs. He uses the hem of his shirt to wipe under his eyes.
"I get you're going through something right now," I say. "But you definitely stole Gary's man. Just so there's no confusion. He might think that's so yesterday, but I'm not cool with you fucking my best friend over."
Evan's expression turns from defeated to suspicious as he looks to my Gare-bear. "Whatever. We both know what was really going on with you and Peter back then. Or I should say, what was going on with your wandering dick."
"Please," I interject. "It would clearly be his wandering ass."
"Not helping, Derek," Gary says. "Evan, what the fuck are you talking about?"
"Do you really want me to say it in front of your friend?"
"Yeah. Because I don't have anything to hide."
Evan shrugs. "Fine. You told Peter you wanted to be in an open relationship, which was the only reason I even considered doing anything with him to begin with. So you both went off, kept your little flings on the DL so you didn't get a reputation around town. Meanwhile, you were off fucking every guy you could find because you obviously didn't want Peter anymore. And as soon as Peter realized he had stronger feelings for me, when he decided to break it off with you, you got all butt-hurt and started those mean rumors about Peter betraying you. You're just lucky Peter's a nice guy and didn't go telling everyone the truth about how you were the one who didn't want him anymore."
"That's not what happened," Gary says. "We were never in an open relationship. And unlike Peter, I didn't fuck anyone else while we were together."
Evan's crying fit settles as he eyes Gary like he doesn't believe him.
"Come on," I say. "Can't you see he lied to Gary just like he lied to you when he cheated on you?"
"Oh God," Evan says. "Everyone totally knows Peter cheated on me, don't they?"
"Yes, and I told most of them."
Gary sighs. "Not helping again, Derek!"
"Sorry."
"He said he only cheated on me because of how you hurt him," Evan tells him. "You made him feel like he wasn't good enough. I'm meeting him here tonight to discuss what happened and see if we can work through it."
"I fucked him up now?" Gary asks. "That's the story he's telling?"
"Evan, he was obviously lying to you to get into your pants," I explain. "Come on. Use your head-the one on your neck. The guy played you like he played Gary. And you caught him doing the same thing to you, and now he's trying to lie his way out of it again."
Evan's face quivers before he bursts into tears again. "No, no, no." He slides onto a stool and bawls against the bar.
"Um … Evan," I say as Gary turns to me and mouths, What the fuck?
"I'm so sorry, Gary," Evan whines. "I just always assumed you were a total shithead. No offense."
"I'm kind of amazed anyone could think Gary was a shithead," I admit.
Gary pats Evan on the back, though it's clear he's doing it because he doesn't really know how to handle the situation. "It's okay, man. He did the same thing to me. He's some sort of pathological liar. We both got played here."
"Peter was the first guy I was ever in a serious relationship with," Evan adds. "I mean, we started messing around when I was twenty. How was I supposed to know he was such a creep?"
"Oh," I say. "I get that. See, Gary, he was just young and stupid."
"Hey!" Gary snaps. "I was young, and he was my first serious relationship too."
"So you were both young and stupid … "
Gary bites his tongue. "Okay. Maybe naïve is a better word for it."
"You say tomato, I say-"
"I say we get some shots. Everyone good for a double?"
"Hey, Gary." We turn just in time to see Peter approaching. In a button-up and jeans, he's got his dark hair slicked back, and his scruff is wiry-like he hasn't had a good shave in a few days.
He looks uneasy, the way I would expect a guy to look if he was nervous that two guys he'd hurt were chatting and unraveling all the lies he told them.