Owning It (Metropolis #3)(62)

His words make my gut twist slightly. He's right. I haven't taken any extra work. Him mentioning it makes all my responsibilities start to rain down on me. I'm supposed to be trying to put money away to help Zane and Mom, but I sure as shit haven't been doing that.

"You fucker. Don't start feeling guilty. You're making yourself important too. That's not a bad thing." He nods toward my Jeep. "Now get the fuck out of here. I'll meet you and your boy tonight." Frankie jogs toward our bus to restock before I can reply.

I make my way to the Jeep, determined not to let that shit bother me today. I'm going to have a good afternoon with my son, and then I'm going to have a good night with Derek. All the other shit can wait.

I have to hurry home to shower and get ready. Once I'm done, I make a quick sweep of the apartment to make sure nothing of Derek's is out just as there's a knock on the apartment door and it pushes open.

"You ready, Dad?" Zane asks as he steps inside.

"Yep. Are you ready? Jesus, you start college next week. That makes me feel old as hell."

"You are old as hell." He winks at me, and I playfully pull him into a headlock.

"Young enough to take you." We wrestle around. Steph walks in chuckling about how we're both big kids. They grab a drink of water and then we head back downstairs to Steph's car so she can drive us to the school. It's a freshman welcome with a last-minute tour and a few other things. We don't finish there until six and then the three of us head to a local brewery for dinner.

"I can't believe we have a son in college," Steph says as we wait for our food.

"Yeah, me either. I don't feel old enough." The truth is, I don't. I've always felt older than I am. I sure as shit look older than I am but lately … I just don't feel it. There isn't a doubt in my mind it's because of Derek. He's always been wild and reckless, a representation of freedom and I feel that way too when I'm around him.

"You're smiling, Jackson. What's that smile about?" Steph teases.

"I'm not smiling," I reply which is fucking ridiculous because they saw it and once Steph mentioned it, I felt it. 

"Did you take my advice, Dad?" Zane asks, then makes a circle with one hand and with his other, pushes a finger in and out of it.

"Zane!" Steph smacks his leg but smiles.

"What? I'm just being real. You guys aren't getting any younger. Dad needs to find himself a woman before it's too late." Zane winks at me.

"Ha ha. You're so funny," I tease but then think how this could be the perfect moment to mention Derek. That I'm seeing a man, or at least make Zane aware it's a possibility. Steph knows. Steph has always known, which is why she looks at me over her water glass while taking a drink and cocks a brow at me.

And she's right. I have zero shame about being bisexual. Zane is a good kid, and we've raised him right. Sure, it might take some getting used to but he'll be okay.

"Oh, so I was talking to Paul the other day," Zane starts before I have the chance to really consider telling him. He launches into a story about his best friend and college, and Steph and I just sit back and listen to him. Feel pride that he will have so many of the things we didn't. They bring our dinner, and we all eat.

Once we're finished, Zane excuses himself to the bathroom, and the second he's gone, Steph says, "You're seeing someone."

I don't ask her how she knows. We know each other too well for her not to. "Yes. But it's not serious." We'd both agreed from the beginning it wouldn't be but somehow the words taste wrong on my tongue.

"Please. I know you too well for that. If it wasn't serious, you wouldn't have said you were dating someone. Fucking them, yes. Dating them, no. Is it a man?" she asks.

"Yes."

"Good for you. Do you enjoy giving head as much as I do? I met this man the other night … " Her eyes roll back, and she smiles.

"Fuck yes," I reply and then, "Oh Jesus Christ. We're weird." Who talks to their ex-wife like this?

"We're lucky."

Yes, yes, we are.

"Tell me you know Zane won't care. He'll be surprised, yes, but he won't care. He'll just want you to be happy the same way I do. You deserve to be happy, Jackson."

"Thank you. So do you." I sigh and lean back in the booth. "He's … not what you'd expect."

"As long as you're happy, I'm happy. Nothing else matters. Are you happy?"

I think about Derek … the way he flips his bangs out of his face and the blue of his eyes. The way he makes me laugh and looks at me with a vulnerability I'm not sure I deserve and that I know he doesn't give to anyone else. That tight little ass of his and the way he feels around my cock. "Yes."