"It's okay. I-"
"No." I put a finger against his lips. "Be good and listen."
I can see the defiance in his facial features, the part that wants to tell me no just because he can … but there's the other part of him. The one that fucking loves this and that's what wins out this time.
"Yes, sir," he replies.
I turn him so he faces the wall. Push between his cheeks again and fill him the way we both want. If anyone were looking, they'd only see my back and not my boy.
This time, I take it slower, easing in and out of his fucking ass. Taking him deep, making him shudder each time I push in. "Mmm. You feel so good."
I spit in my hand, wrap it around his dick, and stroke.
"Oh God. I'm not going to last long."
"Yeah, me either." I see a bead of sweat on his temple and I lick it. "I want to taste all of you."
"Oh shit, Jackson. You're fucking good at this."
I grin against his face. "Thank you."
He pushes back and meets me. He earns my slow, purposeful thrusts.
"Right there. Fuck, right there," he says, and I keep going, keep slamming into him. He's on his tiptoes, taking each of my thrusts. I hold his waist with one hand, jack his dick with the other as I kiss the side of his face.
"Oh fuck. Fuuuck," he calls out and shoots. His jizz slides between my fingers as I keep working his dick. When his hole tightens around my cock, I can't help but unload too. I bite into his shoulder as I ride out my orgasm and my body feels like it's coming undone from the inside out.
"We're good together," he says breathlessly.
"Yeah, we are." I pull away. He looks at me over his shoulder and damned if he doesn't smile when I lick my fingers. "Told you I wanted to taste all of you. Next time I want my mouth on you when you come. Now stay," I say before walking over and closing the curtains. I get rid of the condom and then return to where he's waiting for me.
"You're never going to get enough of this ass." He wiggles it playfully.
"No, I'm not sure I will," I reply before picking him up again.
"I could get used to this. I might never have to walk again."
I pull the blankets back and lay him down before climbing into bed with him. We lie on our sides, Derek facing me. He rubs my chest, plays with the hair there.
We watch each other for a minute. I finger his blond bangs. He leans in, tongues my nipple and then looks up at me.
I grab his hand, thread his fingers through mine, playfully. I'm so much bigger than he is. "We're not making any promises. I know that. You don't know if it's what you want, and I don't think I'm ready … but I like you, Hurricane. And I'm not that penguin. You're not going to come over and find someone else at my place. When we walk away, it'll be when we're both ready and we both know what's going on."
He sucks in a surprised breath. I don't know why those stories he told today got to me so much. Make me look at him differently, but they do.
"Okay," he replies softly, and then, "You scare me, Jackson." I know how hard those words were for him to say. I pull him close, wrap my arm around him, and kiss his forehead.
"I know, boy. You scare me too."
24
Derek
Wow. The sex yesterday after we went to the zoo was intense.
Feels like we have so much we want to share and experience together.
I don't think Jackson realizes how much he gets me going in the bedroom. There's the obvious, of course, but he can't know just how into it I am. There are guys I've had to fake with or encourage along, especially when they were inexperienced. But not with Jackson, and I'm kind of stunned at how his experience with Steph has been more than enough for him to be able to give me exactly what I need. Plus, I think part of him holding off on having sex with men has led to him unleashing all this pent-up tension and frustration on my tight hole, which I'm totally fine with.
It's more than the sex, though. Has been since the beginning. That's what I meant when I told him that I was scared, and I'm not sure he can really understand what I mean by that.
I don't know what the fuck we're doing, and it's been so fucking long since I've let myself get close to another person.
I sure as fuck don't want to get hurt again-not like I got hurt with Christian. There've been guys since him who I've hoped would wind up more than a casual hookup, but they've always shut it down before we could become something more. And I've always figured maybe that's been for the best.
But I am enjoying whatever the fuck we're doing right now, and I like that he came with me for my little tango lesson at Cypress Grove.
It's nice being able to share this part of my life with someone.
I place my laptop on a card table one of the nurses let me borrow from the break room. I've set up the fold-out chairs in the room into two semi-circle rows. Uncle Randy sits in a chair at the front, waving at me. I smile and wave back. He was a little agitated when I first showed up. He was asking about Tim, but I managed to calm him down, and he seems fine now. Still, I'm nervous as fuck that things will turn when I start my little mini-lesson. I'll keep it simple enough, and fuck if it matters if anyone gets it right, considering they're not going to be running around trying to impress anyone with their awesome dancing skills. But Uncle Randy gets frustrated easily these days, from things as simple as not being able to read something to searching his mind for a fact he can't remember.