Owning It (Metropolis #3)(54)

"Yeah. Because the world sucks."

"I mean, that's just one pair of penguins."

"Whatever. And there are plenty of clips like that I've seen. People are no different. I've cut enough hair in my life to hear all the stories. People fall in love. They grow together, and then one of them gives up and leaves."

He looks startled. Like he's surprised that I've developed this perspective of the world.

"Don't give me that look," I tell him. "Whenever I say stuff like this, people always start acting like I'm this jaded person who's trying to bring everyone down, but I'm being realistic. I tell people the truth. Sometimes I make a joke about it to make it easier to handle, but at the end of the day, most people prefer to live a life of lies and self-deception. I'm not one of those people."



       
         
       
        

"How do you keep so much cynicism bottled up in one little body?"

"Whatever. You know it's true."

"I have a very different perspective with what I do because I see people losing the ones they love most. People who would do anything, give their own lives up if they thought it would bring someone back."

It strikes a chord. Not a side I'm used to thinking about or hearing about really, but then it also makes me think of Tim leaving my uncle. About him being more like a penguin than one of these people who Jackson's talking about.

"Maybe you're just in an unfortunate job where it's easier for the bad ones to be louder than the people who are really in love."

"Maybe … "

But I'm skeptical of his conclusion. There are a lot of shit people in this world.

We watch the penguins for a moment. There's a little one walking around. A much larger one keeps trying to keep him in one place, but he won't stay.

"There's the Zane of the bunch," Jackson says.

"Why do you say that?"

"He was a good kid, but he had his way he wanted to do things, and once he'd set his mind to something, he wouldn't let anyone talk him out of it. Opinionated as fuck. And stubborn. God, he's stubborn."

"These must be genetic qualities."

He laughs. "Guess he comes by it honestly. We've gotten along, but sometimes you butt heads. He wanted his way, and I wanted what was best for him. Sometimes those two intentions clashed, but I did what I could."

"I'm sure that was plenty enough," I tell him, and all this talk about his son leaves me with another question. "What would he think about this?"

"What?"

"Us? I mean, I'm sure you've thought of that."

"I honestly don't have a clue. I've never even considered this. I mean, I'd be weirded out if I was in his position."

"You are gonna tell him you like guys at some point, though, right?"

"Oh yeah. Of course. No. I wasn't even thinking of it like that. I was just thinking about how young you are."

"What? That's what you think he'll get hung up on? Okay, Daddy, I know I look young, but I'm still twenty-six. I am almost a decade older than your kid."

"You're just over eight years."

"I was trying to make you feel better," I tell him as I wink.

He smiles.

"I'm sure if he's anything like his dad, he would be nothing but supportive and encouraging and want for you to be happy."

"You're probably right." 

Maybe, but I know it's not that easy. Hell, it's not easy to just come out to someone, let alone tell them you're dating a twink who looks like he could be your fucking kid.

Thank God I don't have to deal with kids.

We see a few more exhibits before we head out, and he drives me back to my place.

"So … " I drag out as we approach Metropolis. "Are you coming up?"

"Depends on if you want me to come up."

"Shut up. You know I want you to fuck me."

"And you know I like it when you beg for it."

"Then I think we can work something out … "

We park the car, and we don't even make it to my door when he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall, kissing me, his hands gripping my body, reminding me of that great fuck we shared.

"Please … Daddy … fuck … me," I say between kisses. "I need it so fucking bad. I feel like I'm aching without you inside me. Make me ache in all the right ways."

He snatches my keys from me, which I'd already pulled out, and unlocks the door. He squats and lifts me by my legs into the air and opens the door, pulling me inside quickly and not even shutting the door all the way, just trying to get us back into my bedroom as quickly as possible.