"Whatever, Derek. Gary and I know you well enough to know something's going on with a guy. You typically don't spend the night avoiding Grindr and Scruff and disappear with little more than a text that says you're heading back to your place unless you have a regular who you don't want to admit you're seeing."
"I did go home that night."
"Oh, I bet you did."
"Whatever. It's just a booty call. There's nothing weird about that."
"There is if your booty falls in love."
"Hell no. This booty has got needs that require more fulfillment than any one man can handle."
Although I'm certain Jackson is plenty man enough to handle this ass all on his own.
I'm still not telling Hayden about him, but it's not because I'm ashamed of him. Hell, Jackson's a better man than half the guys I know. If anyone's reputation is going to be damaged by my mentioning him, it'll be his, not mine. And for his sake, he deserves better than to have people gossiping about him, thinking he's my latest daddy dick.
Truth is, I don't have a fucking clue what's going on between us. We've messaged since the kiss the other morning-the one we shared at my place during the omelet catastrophe. That's the last time we saw each other. He has a demanding job that's kept him busy most days-he says he has to pick up extra shifts to help with college stuff for Zane, but I know that's not the real reason we haven't seen each other. I think he might be starting to like me. Well, I guess that's not the serious problem. It's that I'm starting to like him, too. Not even just that kiss, which fucking blew my mind, but he's actually a decent human being. A great human being. There aren't many guys in the world like him, and as much fun as I think it would be to start something with him, I've played out this script before, and I know how the movie ends. I've been able to get over a lot of guys, but I'm worried if I let myself feel something more for Jackson, it could be too much. Too difficult. And it would be too hard to watch him leave.
"Well," Hayden says, capturing my attention once again. "You can avoid telling us about this guy all you want, but at the end of the day, Gare and I are going to find out eventually, so when you're ready to finally talk about it, we'll be here for you. I hope you know that."
"Whatever." Even though I'm acting like I don't care, I'm appreciative I have friends who pay attention and recognize when I'm not ready to open up. Who know me well enough to see the signs when something's wrong, but who let me tell them things when I'm ready. "Thank you," I mutter before weaving his dark locks between my fingers.
When I finish cutting his hair, I clean my workstation and head back to my condo. After I wash up and brush my teeth, I set my laptop on the media console and pull up a couple of tango videos on YouTube to practice for this weekend. I push my coffee table up against the couch to make space to dance.
At Uncle Randy's encouragement, I took lessons after my breakup with Christian, and they really helped me get over him and move on with my life, but that was so long ago. I need to make sure I remember everything … and try to find a way to convey all this to people-some of whom probably haven't danced for a couple of decades.
I practice some steps based on a video I found to remind me of the movements, but I quickly realize this isn't going to be much use without someone else to work with. I know I could get Gary over here or Hayden, if I asked, but I have a much better idea. I'm telling myself that it's because I need a dance partner, but that's not the only reason. I've wanted to see him all week. I've been depriving myself, and now that I've given myself an excuse, there's no stopping me.
I call Jackson, and as soon as I hear his voice, I feel a lightness in my chest.
"Hey, sexy daddy," I tell him.
"Desperate to see me again?"
Maybe desperate is the right word. I don't know what it is about him, but I feel like I'm eager to make up any excuse if it means I get to spend more time with him.
"Look, I really just need your help with this one thing, so if you could get over here at your earliest convenience … like five minutes ago, that would be great."
"I just finished checking on my mom and spending the morning with Zane. What do you want?"
"Do you have to know everything? It's something I need help with, and it's something you're perfectly capable of helping me with, so stop asking questions and help a needy power bottom out."
He's quiet for a moment, as though he's considering it.
"There are a lot of things I'm willing to beg for," I say, "but this isn't one of them."