My eyes opened as he reluctantly shifted back, pulling his hands away. "A safe word. It's... well, it's a signal for me to stop, if you don't like what I'm doing." With a strangled groan, he abruptly swung his leg across my body, straddling my hips and thrusting his rigid cock against my belly. "Just pick a damn word, it's not that hard!"
I froze as the weight of his body pressing me into the bed shot icy fear through me. Torn between unreasoning terror and hot lust, I blurted out the first word that came to mind. "Fire." He chuckled and settled his body more firmly against mine, his hard chest flattening me to the bed as his lips closed on my throat. I gasped, my muscles tightening painfully as the dreadfully familiar sense of helplessness plunged me into blind panic once more. "Fire!"
Miles sat up, frowning forbiddingly. "You don't have to test it, I heard you the first time!" His irritated tone intensified my terror, and I shoved at him, thrashing wildly, desperate to escape. Miles lifted himself off of me, his stern expression shifting to worry. "Rachel? Darling, are you alright?" I jerked away from him, scrabbling across the bed. He reached for me and I slapped at his hand, cringing. "Rachel?"
I backed into the headboard, pressing myself against it hard enough to bruise, my feet sliding on the smooth sheets. The cool touch of the wood, so heavy and solid, and the genuine concern in Miles' voice finally dragged me back to reality. The over-whelming terror faded into sickly despair as I realized that I'd lost control. Again. I burst into choked sobs, shaking violently and slumping onto the bed.
Miles leaned over me, probably trying to comfort me, but I flinched away from his looming body. Instantly shifting gears, he settled back against the pillows and gently tugged me up and over until I rested on his chest. I stiffened against him, but he persisted, his warm hands massaging my back until I relaxed, panting for air and fighting down the tears. After a few moments, I found my voice.
"Oh God, Miles, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" He rubbed my back more firmly, reassuringly, as I went on. "I can't... when you held me down, I remembered... I'm so sorry." My voice faded and cracked and my shoulders hunched inwards. I felt ashamed at this weakness, for not being able to cope with the violent encounter I'd had earlier that day. I'd volunteered for those two thugs to fuck me, hadn't I? It hadn't been a near-rape, not really, no matter what it had felt like.
Miles shifted us until I was lying fully on top of him, my head tucked under his chin. The solid heat of his body was comforting, and eventually my trembling nerves loosened. I sighed mournfully. His chest vibrated under my cheek as he spoke. "I understand your reaction, darling. I'm not angry with you, and you have nothing to be sorry for." There was a pregnant pause and I pushed myself up to look into his face. "But this is definitely something you're going to have to get over."
Shocked, I sat up, straddling his flat stomach and searching his face. It was full of compassionate, but unyielding, resolve. "W-what? How? I can't just... how can you expect...?" My inarticulate questions died as he raised a finger across my lips. Without thought, my tongue slid out to brush his hushing fingertip, and his dark eyes lit as his breath caught. Simmering heat began to replace the ice that had filled me.
"I think you need to get back on the horse, darling." He shifted under me, and I felt his hard cock nudge against my butt. I flushed, both aroused and infuriated by his presumption. Didn't he see that I couldn't...? His hands on my hips gently stilled my attempt to climb off of him. I glared, slapping my hand against his chest. He rolled his eyes and sighed, the long-suffering sound making me grind my teeth in irritation.
Before I could smack him again, he captured my hand against his firm chest, curling his fingers around mine. "Darling, if you want to be on top, that's fine. But you're not off the hook all together." At my blank look, he clarified. "I believe you agree to meet my needs. And I am clearly..." His cock throbbed against my ass again, sending a surge of wicked heat through me. "...in desperate need here."
Aggravated beyond words, I twisted my hips, trying to loosen his grip. He groaned, firmly shoving me down as his cock thrust at my ass. My rebellious pussy throbbed as his hard length rubbed between my spread cheeks. The twin heats of anger and lust had driven away the fear, and I paused, trying to think through the pleasure as he rocked against me. Perhaps he was right. Maybe, if I was in control, I could push through the trauma I'd suffered.
I looked at him, eyes narrowed and biting my lip, and his hands tightened on my hips. Reaching down, I delicately pulled on his fingers, until he obediently lifted his hands. "You'll really let me be in charge?" I held my breath as his brows narrowed, a trickle of fear shivering down my spine. Holding my gaze, he finally nodded, an abrupt jerk of his chin. It was obviously going against the grain, but he seemed sincere.