He draws a line under my chin, and I lift my head, caught mid-breath by his lips. He’s so soft that I’m reminded of the Luc he was before prison.
“Now you’re mine just as much as I’m yours.”
For a moment it’s just like it was years ago.
“Why do you have to tie me up?”
It scares me when the light fades in his eyes and his dark side lashes out at me. I’ve grown to crave every sting of pain from his hand. How fucked up is that? What’s wrong with me?
“It makes me feel better,” he says, still holding my chin and looking at me through a haze of adoration. “You make me feel amazing. Honest to God, you’re the best thing that ever happened in my life.” Then he takes my hand and squeezes it, looking uncharacteristically serious. “I love you.”
The wind leaves my sails. He’s said it before, but never like this. Sweet Luc is back, the guy who charmed me, who sent me flowers every week, who made me feel like I was on top of the world.
“After all the shit I put you through, I don’t expect you to feel the same.”
My hand twitches in his. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
He grins. “It’s your wedding day.”
Oh.
“I’ll be nice for now, but at night all bets are off.”
* * *
The reception hall is at the very top of Montreal’s only casino. A giant glass wall showcases the city sprawl, the blinking yellow lights like stars among a sea of darkness. It’s fitting that he chose this place for our reception, but I can’t help but feel slightly sickened when I walk through the casino. Two agents grabbed me after work. I still had Luc’s kiss warm on my cheek when I told them everything. I didn’t get a chance to confess to him that I was pregnant.
Luc sat across the table from me, his face frozen with greed. “You’re not breaking up with me, are you?”
“No.”
A small amount of relief loosened his taut smile. “Good. I don’t think I could let you go anyway.”
I loved that.
He’s going to be so pissed.
“So, um—”
The waiter slid beside our table, and my face burned as Luc angrily waved him away. “Get us a bottle of Vino Verde.”
The waiter whisked away, and Luc turned his attention to me, taking both of my hands in his. He waited for me to talk, a smile tugging at his lips.
“Babe, what is it? Did you get into some trouble?”
“No.”
I’m pregnant. Just say it.
The waiter returned with the bottle, and my skin burned when he poured the glass of wine in front of me. The glass I knew I couldn’t drink, because of the baby inside me. The baby that Luc didn’t even know existed.
I was sure he would panic.
One of his eyes winked at me, and warmth filled my chest like a hot meal.
“I’m in love with you.”
Luc’s big eyes widened for a second. I could feel flames creeping up my neck as I watched him absorb the shock of my words.
“You were trying to tell me you were pregnant, weren’t you? At dinner?”
Luc’s calm voice floats in my head. I look at him stare down at the sprawling city.
“I tried. I couldn’t do it.”
And then I had to testify against him while our last happy moment together burned in my mind.
“When I was in jail, I thought that you had a moment of guilt.” He turns so that I can only see his profile, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “It’s a big mind fuck to be told by your girlfriend that she’s in love with you, and to be betrayed by her the next day.” Regret strains his voice. “I should have said it back.”
I loved him, but he ruined me.
“It’s too late.”
Some of that residual anger bubbles up inside me. I loved him. I fucking broke the law for him.
“Yeah, I guess so,” he says, voice darkening.
Suddenly he’s at my side. He grips the back of my neck, his eyes shining with arousal.
“You have no idea how fucking hard it’s been to be the good guy all damn day. They stabbed almost every last bit of goodness left inside me. What’s left over goes to my son, and you.”
His fingers grasp my chin and he lowers his head, trembling with the effort of being gentle. He kisses my open mouth, and the few people gathered nearby burst into cheers.
The vibrator suddenly throbs into life. I jerk in his arms, but he holds me close, laughing.
I cling to his jacket, biting my lip hard as my face flushes with heat.
“Luc, please!”
“You’ll have to beg harder than that.”
“Your mother is right behind you!”
If I were in a laughing mood, I would have cracked up at the flash of panic on Luc’s face. He shoves his hand in his pocket and turns off the vibrator the moment his mother curls her hand around his bicep.