Owned By Fate(58)

A man who keeps his word, she’d called him, enunciating every single word. Caroline’s unique way of letting him know the terms were still in effect. To sternly remind him of his earlier promise to let her go after the meeting, on the off chance he’d forgotten.

He hadn’t. Not remotely. It had been excruciatingly difficult, saying those words to her over the phone. I’ll let you go. If he didn’t know she wanted him out of her life so badly, saying those words would have been impossible. But he did know. Yes, she wanted him physically, but it ended there. He’d finally accepted that fact during the meeting. She wanted him out of her life badly enough that she’d flown across town in a cab and lied for him, something he knew went against her morals, her very nature.

Jonah was assaulted by a flashback of her, sitting at the bar of his club that first night, so questioning yet full of conviction. Now, she looked positively drained. He’d done that to her. She’d told him she couldn’t stand being a hypocrite, but he hadn’t listened well enough, turning her into one on several occasions. He’d unconsciously used their attraction against her the way she’d accused him of doing, and he’d dimmed the fire inside her. The knowledge killed him. Yet he wouldn’t take back a single moment of their time together, making him the world’s biggest bastard.

No matter how badly he wanted to hold her, share his incredible happiness over meeting bright, challenging Gabby for the first time, he needed to keep his word. He wouldn’t cause her one second more of distress or self-hatred. Not when he could help it by leaving her outside her apartment door and driving away. It might be wiser to drop her outside her building in Battery Park, but in her present state, she didn’t look like she’d make it up the stairs.

In perfect timing with his thoughts, the cab pulled up outside a luxury high-rise. Having no other choice, he glanced over at Caroline, surprised to find her green eyes watching him steadily.

When she spoke, her voice sounded strained. “Are you leaving n-now?”

Jonah smothered the pain as best he could. She couldn’t wait to have him gone. “In a minute. I want to make sure you get upstairs without falling and breaking your neck.” He pushed open his door. “It’s the least I can do after this afternoon.”

She nodded, exiting her side of the cab as Jonah asked the driver to wait for him. When they entered the elevator and he watched Caroline press the button for the third floor, with what could only be described as a considerable effort, Jonah bit back a curse. Christ, had being with him really done this to her? Guilt swamped him, dense and unforgiving. Without questioning the wisdom of his actions, he swept her up into his arms. Immediately, she curled into him, head tucking into his neck, fitting into him like a missing puzzle piece. He swore he heard her moan but decided it had to be his imagination.

The elevator doors parted. “Which apartment?”

“Take a right. Last door at the end.”

Jonah strode toward her door as Caroline dug through her purse for keys. He walked them inside, not pausing to look around, knowing it would only be harder the longer he stayed. The further glimpse into her personality was something he couldn’t afford when he needed to focus on the impossible task of leaving her. Reluctantly, he set her down on the kitchen table and stepped back. They stared at each other for long moments, both seemingly at a loss for what to say. Jonah knew he should be walking toward the door, but his feet wouldn’t move. Leaving her looking so broken would be the hardest thing he’d ever done.

You did this to her.

“Jonah—”

“Tell me you’re going to be all right,” he interrupted quietly. “It’s the only way I’ll be able to leave.”

Caroline bit her lip and glanced away. “I’ll be all right.”

Jonah’s head fell forward. “Could you please try and be more convincing?”

They were quiet a moment, until she spoke haltingly. “I wanted to say, you were amazing today with Gabby. She loved you. You’re going to do the best job. The best.”

The knot in his throat tightened. “I owe the chance I’m getting to you. You’ll never know how much I appreciate what you did today.”

She nodded, and even the simple movement seemed to unbalance her on the table. “You’re welcome.”

“Jesus, Caroline.” He shot forward to steady her. “When was the last time you slept?”

She started to speak, then appeared to change her mind about what she wanted to say. “It’s just this story I’m working on…around the clock, you know?”