When I first touch him, he presses his lips together for a second like I hurt him, burned him. Then my hands slide around the back of his neck and I pull. I want to feel him. All the words leave my mind and I’m just a jumble of desires, with everything dragging me in one direction.
He resists me for a moment, then lowers his face to mine, pausing just millimeters from me as though he’s unsure. I can smell the champagne on his lips as his face blots out the overhead light. Tugging harder, I pull myself toward him.
And then he is kissing me, and everything explodes. His lips are on my lips. Hands circle my ribs, lifting me up. More hands slide down my hips — Alek? Yes. I’m pinned between them with hands everywhere, kisses on my lips and neck, a heavy weight pressing me flat.
Roman’s lips plunder mine, crushing me almost painfully. I’m hungry for him in a way I’ve never felt before. I feel hands — Alek? Roman? I can’t know for sure and it doesn’t matter — stroking me, massaging me, lifting me into the air and suspending me between them.
The elevator doors slide open again and the men release me. I drop to the floor, slightly confused and trembling, but wanting more, so much more. Alek walks out, pivoting confidently to the right. I follow him with Roman right behind me and after a few seconds we reach the door. The door to a hotel room. Their hotel room.
Alek slides his key card into the slot and then pushes the door with one hand when the light turns green. He holds the door open with his palm flat against it so that Roman and I can move inside. The room is totally dark.
I walk in, holding my breath and trying to seem as nonchalant and confident as possible. I hear the door close behind me and the deadbolt clicks into place. Suddenly Alek is directly behind me, his breath curling around the outside of my left ear. Roman is in front of me again and I peer up at him, staring into his fathomless eyes as he pulls me closer, or Alek pushes me closer, I can’t be sure.
The light snaps on when someone flips the switch and I flinch.
“Don’t do that,” I say instinctively.
Roman makes a sort of grunting sound of surprise and backs away, holding me in front of him as though ready to release me. “Don't do what?”
I struggle to form the words. “Um… Leave the lights off. I have a headache or something.”
“Or something?” Alek whispers behind me. He is also completely still.
I nod, knowing it makes no sense. I'm not sure how many more lies I can tell tonight, so it's better if I don't say anything. And I don’t want any more words in my head. I want to just feel, just plow forward without thinking too much.
Roman takes a half step back and I can just barely make out the shadow of his figure. He's six or eight inches taller than me, I can't tell. Almost twice as broad. And hot. So hot, he's like a furnace. I feel myself start to tremble in my middle. Like a puppy.
He seems to be looking over my shoulder, probably communicating with his brother behind me.
“Aren't you afraid to be here in the dark with us?” he growls.
He knows. I know he does. Yes. I'm terrified. But I try to remind myself that this is what I wanted. I wanted to do something totally unlike me, totally secret and strange and exciting and terrifying. Now, while I still can.
“I'm not scared. You... seem like nice men.”
He inches back toward me. He is so close that when I take a breath, my breasts brush up against his broad chest.
“I am not a nice man, Marie.”
I need to do this. I want to do this. I do. That's why I'm here.
“I’m not leaving,” I whisper.
“You’re sure?” Alek asks behind me. I nod urgently, silently begging them to not ask me again, don’t let me falter, don’t make me leave.
Roman hovers closer to me. In the darkness I feel, rather than see, his head dipping to each side of mine as though he's inhaling me. He so warm that when he begins to put his arms back around me, it's like a cocoon of heat. A matching heat approaches me from behind and I hear the tiny, rough sound of the teeth on the back of my zipper as Alek pulls the tab down.
And yet, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stand up for much longer. My core trembles in increasingly dramatic shudders. It's as though something inside me is shifting tectonically. I am on the verge of an earthquake. I have to do something, or I'm going to simply vibrate into dust.
A palm slides up the bare skin of my back and cups around the back of my neck. At the same time, another hand finishes with the zipper at the base of my spine and I feel a thumb tracing a tiny circle there.
I push up on my toes and find Roman’s mouth again in the darkness. The relief of that renewed contact is so great I hear myself sigh. Alek presses me forward, into Roman’s body, pinning me between them as Roman’s mouth crushes against mine.