“No stars tonight,” I mused. Sometimes you can see them, but usually the light pollution of LA dims the sky to a charcoal velvet. “Can you see the stars in Amsterdam?” I wondered aloud.
I heard him turn his head toward me. “Well… It’s still a city, so, not as much as you can other places. But better than here I guess.”
I nodded. “That makes sense.”
“If you want to see stars, I can take you to Montana,” he murmured. “Or Tahoe. Up in the mountains, they really do seem closer. Brighter.”
“Really?”
“Of course, really. We can go anywhere you like.”
I nodded, staring up at the sky, trying to imagine what it would look like if those dim pinpricks of light were turned on full blast.
“Are the stars upside down in Australia?”
“Yes,” he answered confidently. “And backwards.”
“Oh that sounds confusing.”
“And in Japan, you can read the whole sky like a newspaper.”
“But in vertical columns,” I added.
“Naturally.”
“I would love to see that.”
“As you wish, princess,” he said, his voice sincere.
“OK,” I sighed. “So, after Amsterdam, you guys can show me a world full of stars?”
I felt him flinch, slightly.
“Sure,” he said slowly, settling back on his chaise and training his gaze on some distant point.
“Wait, what? What did I say?”
He shook his head. “You’re coming to Amsterdam,” he said quietly, matter-of-factly.
“Well, yes?” I said, startling myself with another declaration that sounded like a question. “I mean, yes. I should.”
“Really? What gave you that impression?” He worked his mouth around like there was something sour in it.
“Declan told me there were people I should meet. Connections to make. You know.”
He shrugged.
“It’s business, Jackson.”
I peered at his profile, lit from the light of the pool. He was angry? Or something? I couldn’t really make out his expression and he didn’t seem to want to share it with me.
“I have a job,” I sulked. “I’m not sure why Declan is the only person who seems to understand that.”
“OK, if that’s what you think,” he sighed, sitting up and pushing himself away from me.
“Hey, wait, are you going?”
“Yeah, big day tomorrow,” he muttered. “You should pack.”
I coughed in the back of my throat, trying to think of what to say. He had just closed up like a flower and I found myself grasping at empty air, wanting to pull him back.
“Well… wait, don’t just go,” I stammered as he stood up. “I thought you’d be happy or something. We’ll all still be together… Nothing has to change.”
“Right,” he said quietly, and kissed me chastely on my forehead, then walked away.
I watched him stride across the patio and through the sliding door to the living room, wondering if he expected me to chase him. But suddenly I was tired, way too tired to start a new conversation about the same thing.
I stared into the velvety dark sky for a while longer then dragged myself to my room and dumped everything that seemed appropriate into a few pieces of luggage. Without knowing how long we would be there or what I needed, I just grabbed one of everything.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up to the sound of Declan shuffling through my bedroom in the dark.
“What time is it? Are we going?”
“No, no. Hush,” he whispered as fell heavily onto the other side of the bed, still dressed and smelling of bourbon. “You have hours. Go back to sleep.”
“OK,” I mumbled groggily. “You’ll wake me?”
“Of course,” he said softly.
“I don’t want to miss it,” I said, mostly to myself.
“Oh, you won’t miss it. I knew you were coming,” he said, patting my hand. “I knew you’d do it my way.”
“OK,” I sighed, letting exhaustion drag me under again as his words echoed across the dark, inky water of sleep.
I knew you’d do it my way.
CHAPTER 2
JACKSON CAME IN the room with a tray full of espresso and small biscuits and muffins, a playful smile on his lips. I squinted at him from under the tangled curtain of hair that had somehow arranged itself in front of my face overnight as Declan pushed himself up on one elbow beside me.
“Car’s here in thirty minutes,” Jackson informed us with a smirk.
“Ugh,” Declan replied. I wasn’t quite as literate.
Jackson set the tray down on the mattress and sighed judgmentally before leaving Declan and me to slowly crawl toward the steaming cups of life-giving elixir. I forced my hands to cradle one and brought it to my face, knowing that was probably my only chance for a day with some kind of lucid forebrain activity.