“We could see the stars if the plastic umbrella wasn’t in the way,” I say.
“That’d be nice. We could just lie back and look at them, in our little spot away from everyone else.”
“The best place I ever seen stars was in this piss-assed town in the Outer Banks. There were so many stars, the sky looked white.”
“That sounds amazing. I’d love to see something like that”
“Don’t your parents take you on fancy trips or anything?”
“When I was younger they took me to Paris and New York, and often to Orlando. Never anywhere you can see loads of stars. But as soon as my brothers and I got old enough to leave at home, they always vacation by themselves. They now do everything by themselves.”
“What the fuck? They should be using their money to show you the world.”
“You must’ve been all over.”
“Forty-one states so far. We go different places every year, depending on where Papa Smurf gets us a pitch.”
“So you live in a trailer all year?”
“No, I live in a part of a trailer, it’s a bunkhouse.”
“Sounds small.”
“I got a bed and a shower, that’s all I need.” She’s shivering, “You still cold?”
“Freezing.”
Emily leans into me. She’s shaking, but I still don’t know if it’s cold or if she’s scared.
I pull her crossways onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. Emily’s scent fills my nose when I put my head against hers. She smells better than a funnel cake, like roses.
“My parents would freak if they knew where I was right now.” Of course they would, all parents freak when they find out their daughter’s with a carny.
“What about you? Are you freaking?” I want her to relax and stop shaking.
Emily looks at me, her eyes moving all over my face before stopping on my neck.
“This isn’t something I do every day,” Her eyes are still stuck on my neck.
“As long as you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, who cares if you do it every day or not? That doesn’t matter. I hate my days being the same. That’s why I love being in the carnival.”
“You’re not going to tell me why you joined the carnival, are you?”
“Nope.” And I make no apologies about it, either.
Emily still hasn’t moved her eyes from my neck. She’s staring at the tattoo that goes up the right side.
“Something on your mind?”
“What made you get a neck tattoo?”
I shrug, “Same reason I got all my other tattoos.”
She runs her fingers over the tattoos on my arms and says, “You sure have a lot of them.”
“I’ve got lots more than the ones you can see right now.”
“Are you legs covered in them too?”
“Yeah, I got lots on my legs.” I don’t think Emily’s ready to hear where else I have one, I’ll let her discover that one for herself later. “What about you, got any?”
“God, no, my family would freak. But I’ve always wanted a little rose on my hip.”
“So get one, how would they ever know? Just put it under your bikini.”
“You don’t understand, this is a small town. If one person found out, everyone would know. And then my parents would freak.”
“I thought you said you were twenty.”
“I am.”
“So who cares if your parents freak?”
I’m a Rebel (Emily)
Yeah, that’s why I’m here tonight. This is a statement. My parents need to learn I’m an adult. Maybe I should get that tattoo.
“Did your parents freak when you got your tattoos?”
“I ain’t got no parents.”
That’s awful, I wonder how they died? I feel bad now.
“Sorry,” I say. I wonder if that’s why he joined the carnival. It must be.
“Nothing to be sorry about. My family is all down in the camp right now.”
“Your relatives are in the carnival too?”
“No, but my family is.”
“You guys must all be really close, living and working together all the time.”
“One of the best things about this job, when I don’t want to smash their faces in.”
“What’s the best thing about being a carny?”
“Meeting you.”
I roll my eyes at the line he’s feeding me, and say, “Other than me.”
“Seeing the looks on the kids’ faces. Like that kid tonight at the Basketball Toss.” Steel shrugs.
“Courtney says you were just doing that to impress me.”
“Fuck her. Sometimes I get really fed up with townies judging me just because of their opinions against my job. I love putting a smile on a kid’s face.” He pauses. “To impress you, I screwed your ex-boyfriend out of his pride.”